


Please Don't Say You Love Me

by GMTYUniverse



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Jamaica, M/M, Mistaken identities, Pickpocketing is not a good flirting technique, Princes, Security guards that act like Harry's babysitters, but they come out in the heat of the moment, but usually let him get away with a lot, harry says some ugly things, he doesnt mean them, lol can't give too much away, mentions of child bereavement, mentions of grief, prince!harry, royal au, thieves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-13 14:22:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12985923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GMTYUniverse/pseuds/GMTYUniverse
Summary: For the first time in a long time, Prince Harry has been able to sneak away from palace life and his royal duties - going on a final holiday before his obligations as Royal Prince will catch up with him.Well aware of the usual threats on his persona - kidnapping, assault, bribery, blackmail - Harry is perfectly capable of defending himself from others. What he never prepared for, though - is some petty theft and someone accidentally stealing more than just a couple of fivers from him; like, for instance, his heart.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inmadhouses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmadhouses/gifts).



> This was based on the following prompt - I hope I did it justice for you! 
> 
> As a member of the royal family, prince has been trained from young to be observant and cautious, and was even trained in every type of acceptable and dignified fighting from fencing to Judo. But somehow, whilst on vacation alone after giving the assigned guards a slip, this attractive thief somehow got their hands on the prince's wallet. An internal battle of duty vs heart ensues.
> 
> Big thanks to the people who gave this a proofread to help me out! <3 
> 
> Title is from the song Please Don't Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin 
> 
> // 
> 
> Please don't say you love me,   
> Just please don't say you love me  
> 'Cause I might not say it back  
> Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping  
> When you look at me like that  
> There's no need to worry when  
> You see just where we're at  
> Just please don't say you love me  
> 'Cause I might not say it back

Harry grinned, dodging yet another punch being thrown his way – before moving forward quickly, grabbing onto his assailant’s arm and effectively disarming the man. He moved to stand behind the burly guy, arms pinned back by Harry’s lock on them.

‘Good catch Sir,’ Andy said, making him smile as he loosened his grip on his bodyguard’s arms. Within seconds, he suddenly felt the wind being knocked out of him, as he landed on the mat, bodyguard sitting firmly on top of him.

‘But you should never let your guard down, not even with me. Not until I’ve tapped off on your arm or the floor,’ his bodyguard finished as Harry groaned in understanding.

He guessed he could’ve known this is what his session of self-defence would end up going. Getting his arse handed to him at least 28 times seemed to be the average these days. Still, Harry was quite proud of himself – when they’d started their weekly training hours, he’d been getting a beating at least fifty times every single time.

But then he’d taken to boxing, and he’d quickly started developing some real muscles as he’d overhauled his eating and training regimen to truly get into shape. He hadn’t minded the definition of muscle, and the slimming down of those pesky love handles he’d had ever since being a teen that were yet to disappear completely.

With a sigh, Harry accepted the hand Andy offered him, letting himself be hauled upright again.

“Thanks, Andy. Good session.”

He reached for the towel that he’d put on a nearby bench earlier, and moved to wipe the sweat off of his forehead, taking a large sip of his bottle of water. With a sigh, he set himself down on the bench as he looked over at the large clock bolted to the wall of the gym.

Andy followed his gaze, and gave him a smile, before patting his back. ‘Yes, you’re getting better every single day Sir.’

Harry shot him a grin, wiggling his eyebrows at his trainer and bodyguard. “Good enough to let me leave the confines of this building without you and Dave?”

He received a weary look in return.

‘You know it’s not up to me, Your Highness – it’s Her Majesty’s order to have you protected and supervised at all times,’ he responded, making Harry want to roll his eyes.

He’d heard the same answer so many times before, and it had been one of the reasons why he’d taken up self-defence when he was younger. He’d hoped to gain himself some independence and freedom, as he absolutely detested having to walk around with grown baby-sitters all the time.

“I know, I know. But I’m 23. And I’m not Rapunzel who needs to be locked up in a tower. This holiday – it’s meant to give me respite from the palace life, from having to deal with the firm. And don’t get me wrong, you know I appreciate you Andy, I do, but I’d also appreciate to just _be_ for once in my life. I’m in Jamaica! I should be enjoying the sun! Enjoy life as a civilian! Not spend even more time than usual, locked up in the gym taking Jiu Jitsu, Judo, and fencing lessons.”

He knew it was unroyal of him to rant like that, to _complain_ , but it had been eating away at him. He was on holiday, and he wanted to experience Jamaica like any other ordinary person. Because Harry firmly believed he was ordinary too. Yes he had protocol drilled into him, and responsibilities to his people – but he’d never asked for any of that, well had he? He was used to putting duty over everything else. And he was grateful for the position he had, for the opportunities his birth had bestowed upon him, even though he was aware that they usually weren’t earned. He tried to use his privilege for good.

He was going to. And his mother had promised him he’d have this retreat. Just in case he couldn’t have that upon his return. But so far he’d spent most of his time with his bodyguards inside the mansion they’d been staying at – in the middle of a remote location which apparently still wasn’t good enough to let him have a surf ‘n swim all by himself. Nor had this holiday been enough of an excuse for him to get out of his daily exercise/self-defence training sessions. Not that he really minded them, but it was starting to irritate him that despite all the precaution and his own capabilities – he still wasn’t allowed to just wander around an actually populated area or town without six bodyguards surrounding him and separating him from the rest of the world.

‘Your Highness, it _is_ rather unusual for a prince to vacation alone. Her Majesty has been rather forthcoming in allowing you to travel with just two bodyguards, rather than the number that protocol prescribes.’

Harry sighed, “you know better than to address me with your highness, Andy. It’s Harry, or Sir if you absolutely must. If I’m not on official business, there’s no need for official protocol. And my mum is just being a mum – she’s overprotective. I’ll be fine.”

He grabbed his phone and opened the browser to the webpage that he’d been keeping an eye on for the last two days, then thrust it in Andy’s direction.

“In two days, a traditional market is being organized in St. Elizabeth – Newmarket. It says it’s one of the most popular ones and is supposed to give me ‘a memorable experience of rural Jamaica’. I want to go there. Alone. No bodyguard.”

Andy looked up from the phone, frowning uneasily at the prospect of having the British Prince wander off on his own. ‘Sir, you know you’re not supposed to do that. We’re not supposed to allow that.’

“I’m asking you nicely as a formality. Because I’m going. You’re working for me and I don’t like using my position – but if I tell you to stay put, you have to listen. My mother assigned you to me. If I say that protecting the crown means letting me attend this market by myself, then you’ll have to let me go. You don’t have a choice.”

The bulky man opened his mouth as if to protest, but decided against it once he caught sight of the determined glance in Harry’s eyes – realizing then there was no arguing with the prince.

‘Alright, Sir,’ he relented. ‘Just, let Dave and I scope out the perimeter tomorrow. And we’ll drop you off and pick you up. ’

It was a compromise that Harry would happily accept, so he gave a short nod to signal his acquiescence. Two more days, and he’d finally get to experience some freedom. Even if it was freedom in a fish bowl, it’d be enough for Harry.

 

* * *

 

 

“Two hours, you got that, Sir? Then we move in.”

Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes, hand already resting on the handle of the car door as he could feel his body itch to get out of the vehicle.

‘Yes, Andy, two hours, I remember – just like I did the first 5 times you told me.’

His bodyguard sighed, and shot him a weary smile. “Sir, you know we’re just concerned for your safety. And this is a _highly_ unusual situation.”

Harry waved him off, feet now dangling out of the car as he unclasped his seatbelt. ‘I’ll be fine. It’s just a market. No one even knows that the heir to the British throne is vacationing here, anyways. They all think I’m off visiting some new love interest in the United States.’

It looked like Dave was about to protest, a frown etching itself into his forehead as he regarded Harry – sizing him up as if he was silently cataloguing all the ways in which Harry’s outfit didn’t offer enough protection. Harry raised his eyebrows at him, then continued to talk when it was clear Dave wasn’t about to interrupt his prince.

‘Besides, I don’t think there’s any prince out there who’s better prepared and more trained in 14 different martial arts than I am. So even _if_ something were to happen, I’m going to be perfectly fine.’

He hopped out of the Jeep, relishing in the feel of his flip-flop clad feet hitting the ground.

“Don’t forget – _two_ hours. Don’t be late,” Dave uttered as a final reminder as Harry made his way towards the town. He threw a hand up in recognition of the words, and continued walking without looking back. He had two hours, and he was determined to make the most of every single second, starting with an interesting looking little tent selling all sorts of beadings. Maybe they’d have some sort of beaded flower crown – it’d be fun _and_ ironic.

For a split second, he suddenly felt confronted with loneliness as he wished Gemma was there to share the experience with him. But she had other duties to tend to, and honestly, he’d specifically asked to go out alone.

He _needed_ it. To truly be on his own for once, without security, without people at his beck and call, without everyone always knowing who he was, expecting things from him at any given time – even when he was just faced with strangers. It’d been that way at Eton, it’d been that way at Oxford, and it’d always be that way in any sort of public setting.

But it hadn’t been that way so far here, and he was hoping he could savour it. Excitement swirled around in his belly, as he gave a polite smile to people meandering around the town – for once the gesture being one out of general politeness, not out of obligation. There was no recognition on people’s faces when they saw him approach or pass by. To the people here, he was just another stranger on holiday there, trying to immerse himself in the island’s culture.

He loved feeling ordinary.

  

* * *

 

 

Harry frowned as he looked at his watch. The savouring of this experience hadn’t exactly gone to plan. The feeling of freedom had quickly turned into boredom. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed the market, because he had. And he loved the way the Jamaican sun was hitting his body without any weird shadows formed by bodyguards, and how the sand would occasionally slip from under his flip-flops onto his feet, since he didn’t have to wear ‘proper footwear’.

It’s just - he’d walked across the market square approximately 6 times already, had tried a bunch of the local fruits and foods, and he still had an entire hour to kill. He supposed he could’ve actually defied his security detail by leaving the market square completely, but he wasn’t brave enough to do that. As much as he was sure nothing bad would happen, he wasn’t going to risk it by stupidly moving out of the zone Andy and Dave had declared ‘safe’.

Harry sighed and plopped down a bench, munching on ackee fruit that he’d been assured wouldn’t actually make him die as long as he avoided the black seeds. This wasn’t what he’d expected at all when he’d envisioned two hours without bodyguards. He frowned, then looked down at his feet. There was a blister and a scrap on his toe from where he’d tripped over his own flip-flops just minutes ago. He’d have to go and buy some band-aids later on.

He took another bite of his fruit, when someone plopped down next to him and started talking.

‘You know, curly, I don’t think you should be eating those fruits.’

Alarmed, but also slightly surprised by the British accent, he looked up at the stranger that had deemed it appropriate to sit next to a stranger on the market square and had then also decided to start a conversation – both rather un-British behaviour.  

He was distractingly gorgeous, though. Caramel-coloured hair that was swept artfully to the side, which Harry didn’t understand in the current climate on Jamaica. The humid hot air and his curls did _not_ blend well together, and he was honestly jealous that this man with sharp cheekbones was just fixing his fringe to look even better than it had before. It’s only then that he noticed the eyes of the man, and Harry was a lost cause. All he could think was _blueblueblue,_ as an inexplicable feeling of warmth and familiarity took over, his lips curling up into a smile.

Apparently the stranger took Harry’s tentative smile as a sign to continue, his crinkled eyes sparkling with mischief.

‘You’re rather easily distracted, it seems. Saw you almost got proper acquainted with the market square earlier today. Not the best combination with fruits that require a certain precision to eat without killing yourself,’ he elaborated.

Harry wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to be annoyed, endeared or scared of the fact that this man had apparently watched him trip over his own flip-flops. He knew he should’ve worn different footwear.

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m perfectly fine,” he settled on replying politely. The fact that this man was clearly a British citizen should’ve made him feel uncomfortable or unsettled – it should’ve taken away from his experience as a ‘free traveller’, increase the chance of someone recognising him and ruining his escape. Instead, all it did was make him feel at home, and at ease. Startled by that realization, at feeling so normal in the presence of an actual subject to his throne – he abruptly turned away from the man and leaned in to take another bite of the fruit.

The man snorted, then shrugged as he leaned over, carefully picking a black seed from where it had been dangerously close to Harry’s mouth.

‘Hm, I see, you are _perfectly_ fine on your own.’

He wasn’t quite sure whether it was the fact he’d been so close to imminent death, or perhaps that he was now close enough to note that the man had a constellation of freckles on his cheek and annoyingly long eyelashes – but Harry was suddenly unable to mutter anything aside from ‘Oops’.

The man just gave him a bright smile, then slightly inclined his head in greeting. ‘Hi.’

He leaned back onto the bench, letting his arm dangle off the backside – dangerously close to Harry’s own shoulder. Where Harry was sure he was still giving off waves of tension, this man just seemed to exude calmness and control, and well – Harry found it quite appealing.

‘By the way,’ the man continued, ‘you lost your wallet back there. Should be more careful –foreigners stand out here. Easy targets, if you will.’

That seemed to shake Harry out of his state of bewilderment, as he let go of the fruit and frantically started patting his pockets before realizing that his wallet was indeed missing. For a second he panicked, then realized defeatedly that all his self-defence classes were very useful – if only he’d _noticed_ someone trying to pickpocket him. With a sigh, he turned his gaze back to the man who was still casually lounging next to him, seemingly enjoying Harry’s predicament.

‘Now, I’ll help you get it back, like the stand-up citizen that I am, but I’ll need something in return.’

The butterflies that had perhaps been set free in Harry’s tummy the moment he’d laid eyes upon the beautiful blue-eyed man immediately got replaced by an ugly clawing mess inside of him. Of course this person knew he was the royal prince, and only wanted to get his hands on some sort of reward. Realizing that there was really no quick way out of this aside from listening, Harry sighed, turning himself slightly away from the stranger so he didn’t have to look straight at him any longer.

“Fine, name your price then.”

‘Your name’, the man said gleefully – almost…cheeky. As if he was… flirting with Harry. And that wasn’t as frequent of an occurrence as Harry would like. But more importantly – he’d asked for his _name_.

Which meant that the beautiful man in front of him actually had no clue he was asking for the name of a royal prince – his _own_ prince, judging by the man’s heavy Northern accent. It also explained why he was being flirted with, and it immediately made Harry’s gut drop again, as it reminded him of exactly the reason for his trip to Jamaica.

He was dreading his return, really. It would mean going back to his duties as a royal, and while he was grateful for the opportunities he had and tried to use his platform for good – Harry hated the pressure and obligations, as well as the constant scrutiny. He could understand those who didn’t support the monarchy, at times Harry found himself agreeing that it was absolutely ludicrous it still existed. What he _didn’t_ understand, was the way in which people obsessed over him as a private person.

The ironic thing was that Harry realised where the obsession stemmed from. The first openly gay royal was bound to gain media attention. He even supposed that he ought to be more grateful about the fact he wasn’t the firstborn – sometimes he wondered if he’d ever even been able to be out if he’d been crown prince. But it hadn’t given the press the right to capitalize on his sexuality. He hated that his first experience kissing a boy had been ruined by invasive journalists and paparazzi – had hated learning the hard way not everyone can be trusted. Hated learning that just because he was born into a particular family, the whole kingdom felt some sort of entitlement over his life.

In all honesty, Harry could see why people hated the monarchical institutions. And he hated them too at times. Like how he now had to be some sort of representation of how incredibly progressive the British monarchy was, and how he was a stand-up citizen. What basically meant that he got absolutely zero passes. Gemma had had her fair share of wild nights, and irresponsible behaviour. Harry wasn’t granted the same leniency, because apparently they weren’t _that_ progressive.

His mother had made it clear that while she’d tried to postpone his public engagements as long as possible, giving Harry time to find his footing and live his life in privacy – it was time for him to step into the limelight and start performing more duties and pull his weight. Even though he wasn’t the crown prince, he was still in the direct line of succession and he needed to show his face.

But for now, he was content pretending to be just another tourist who’d gotten his wallet stolen.

‘Oh, er, it’s – Ed. You can call me Ed,’ he settled on, feeling flustered at the lie, but also somewhat exhilarated at the anonymity it provided him.

The blue-eyed man narrowed his eyes, and for a second Harry thought he’d been caught, but then the man’s face broke out into a beatific smile and he reached out a hand for him to shake.

“Nice to meet you Ed, my name’s Louis. How much time do you have on this fine day to track down your precious goods?”

Harry frowned at the question, before glancing over at his watch. ‘Half an hour? I’ve got to meet someone afterwards.’

Something flickered in Louis’ eyes, but it was gone before Harry could even hazard a guess as to what it could’ve been.

“Ah, girlfriend, boyfriend? I’m jealous – I only get 30 minutes with you. You should tell them they’re very lucky.”

Harry scoffed at that, ‘you hardly even know me.’

“Your name is Edward, you’re clearly British, you’re here on holiday but it must be your first time, because no one would advise you to wear flip flops, and you almost killed yourself earlier eating a local fruit. Which, you’re also adventurous and not a picky eater, or you wouldn’t have even tried it. You’re respectful towards the locals and I think you’re very beautiful, immediately picked you out from the hustle and bustle of the market when you arrived. Also I saw you give one of the likely culprits of pickpocketing you some fruit, so you’re also generous. Anything else, I would love to get to know about you.”

Louis’ little monologue threw Harry off completely, and he could feel his cheeks redden at the inclusion of compliments. At least he knew for sure that Louis meant them – whenever he appeared somewhere as the royal prince, he was never really certain if people liked him for him, or were just being nice and graceful towards their liege.

‘It’s not a date,’ he offered after a moment of silence, trailing after Louis who had since started moving and had motioned for Harry to follow along.

It earned him a quick glance over the shoulder, and then Louis waited a beat to let Harry fall into step with him. He was decidedly shorter than Harry, yet somehow he seemed a lot faster – more agile, and just… fit.

“So it’s business? Not much business to do here outside of tourism,” Louis continued, before signalling they were taking a left, into a quaint, narrow street. Harry supposed that perhaps it wasn’t that smart to blindly follow someone he barely knew, but he somehow felt calm near Louis – he innately trusted him. Besides, he kind of really needed his wallet back, and this was his only way of getting it without causing uproar about the fact a Royal Prince had lost his Royal Wallet on an island on a Royal Holiday, how Royally Irresponsible.

Louis nudged him, shaking Harry out of his reverie, as he realized he hadn’t answered his question just yet. ‘Hmm? Sorry! Tourism you said yeah? Yeah, I work for a big tourism firm.’

It wasn’t even a lie – it was pretty much the truth. The royal family _was_ a bit like a big firm. In fact, they jokingly _did_ call it The Firm in passing. And well, the royals also performed a lot of symbolic tasks that did nothing more than ensure good ties between countries, and represent the UK in a favourable way that would bring a positive impulse to the economy of the Commonwealth.

‘What about you?’ He asked, hoping to bring the focus back on Louis, rather than himself.

Louis smirked at him, but didn’t reply right away, as he headed straight towards a house with a door that was painted bright red, the white numbers 2 and 8 bolted onto it standing out in contrast.

He knocked on the door in rapid succession, before speaking up again. “All sorts of things, really. A bit of a job-hopper, I am – hello?”

When Harry saw who’d opened the door, he couldn’t help but move a bit closer into Louis’ space. The man  staring back at the two of them had dark, hooded eyes framed with long eyelashes -  like two pools of brown, liquid gold were looking right into his soul. He was scratching his beard nonplussed, dressed in almost all-black, before raising a joint to his lips as he slowly let his gaze travel from Harry to Louis.

‘Yes?’ He seemed to be waiting on some sort of explanation or instruction from Louis, and suddenly Harry thought that he should’ve perhaps been shying away from Louis – not stepping into his space.

He didn’t _really_ know these two men, and wasn’t this exactly what his security detail had been afraid of happening? He did trust his own strength, and he was fairly sure that physically neither of these two men posed any sort of threat to him. But people acted differently under duress, and Harry was more of a freeze, than fight of flight person by nature.

“Zayn, stop it – you’re scaring the poor lad. Ed, this is Zayn. Zayn, this is Ed. Pretty sure _someone_ got a hold of his wallet.”

‘And you brought him here, because….’ Zayn trailed off, giving Louis a look that said he wasn’t really impressed at all with his antics, nor was he catching on to whatever he’d wanted to imply with the emphasis in his words.  

Louis seemed offended at Zayn’s implication that they were there without reason, signalling something with his hands that Harry wasn’t quick enough to catch. Zayn, however, _did_ catch wind of it, because suddenly his entire face morphed into something much more agreeable, as he widened the door to let the two of them in.

“I thought we could wait here, while you go off and have a talk with ‘em,” Louis announced, pointing at the sofa as they reached the living room, so that Harry could sit.

Zayn raised an eyebrow at Louis, then sighed and turned around. ‘Fine. But you get to tell Jimmy about this.’

_Jimmy?_

Harry thought to himself, as he anxiously glanced at his watch again. It’d been 15 minutes already – he really needed to get back to the square so he could find his way back to the drop-off point. If he wasn’t on time, he knew that this was the first and also last time this holiday enjoying some much-needed breathing space.

Apparently the anxiety was clear on his face, as Louis suddenly put a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Hey Ed, don’t worry, yeah? It’ll be okay. And then once you’ve got your wallet back, and you’ve had your business meeting – you can use your wallet to buy me a nice cocktail. Maybe. If you’d like, that is.”

The grin on his face was vulnerable, and somehow, Harry felt privy to a secret side of the man. Louis didn’t seem like the type of guy to easily open up, or show his weaknesses. Also, Louis had been helpful and nice, and funny, and he was extremely attractive. In other words, that smile spelled nothing but danger for Harry.

In the back of his head, he felt both his sense of duty and his thirst for freedom tug on his heartstrings. He realized it wasn’t smart as a prince to just agree to go on a date with a total stranger. On the other hand, this was probably one of the last times that whoever he’d meet wouldn’t be somehow arranged for him.

Just as he was about to respond, he could feel Louis’ hand fall from his shoulder – apparently he’d taken too long deciding, and Louis had taken his silence for dismissal. “Oh. Ehm, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume anythi-”

‘No!’ Harry interrupted him, fervently shaking his head, before realizing what he’d said, then let out a chuckle. ‘I mean, yes, I’d – well, I’d quite like to have a cocktail with you. Once I have my wallet back. If there’s still money in it, I suppose.’

He hadn’t even been all that worried about his wallet and its content – though he probably should’ve. He wondered if it classified as a national security breach if they’d found his debit card.

Louis shot him a satisfied smile, then motioned he was going to see if Zayn had returned with his wallet in tow. Harry nodded, and made himself comfortable on the sofa, taking another look at his watch.

Ten minutes. He trusted Louis to not make him late, but he also dreaded that he wouldn’t get to know the blue-eyed man a bit better. There was just something about him, that made Harry’s heart pause.

“Zayn got it back for you! Great with locals, that man,” Louis announced as he returned to the living room, Zayn nowhere in sight, but Harry’s wallet held in his hand.

Harry cheered, before putting his wallet back in his pocket, making Louis chuckle. “That is probably exactly the reason why someone swiped it from you. Too easy, mate. I’d say you hold onto it all the way back to the square, and preferably even longer.”

Perhaps Harry was a bit _too_ used to having security look out for him as well. Usually he didn’t even carry his own wallet, because of the ‘risk’ it posed. So he just smiled awkwardly, and followed Louis’ instructions, before getting up from the sofa.

‘Thanks again, for warning me, and getting it back. Does that happen often?’ Harry asked as they walked back the way they came from side by side. Their hands kept swishing right next to one another, and sometimes he could swear he felt the phantom touch of Louis on his own palm. He kind of wanted to reach out and grab his hand, but he didn’t quite have the confidence to do so. They’d really only known each other for about an hour, and it seemed absurd to Harry that he could feel such a strong pull towards a virtual stranger. He’d been able to meet a lot of people – being a prince and all – but he’d never come across anyone as beautiful, mesmerizing and intriguing as Louis.

Louis grinned, revealing two pointy corner teeth that made Harry want to feel them sink into his skin. “What? That I go out and warn tourists, then track down their wallets? Nah, I only do that for exceptionally spellbinding ones.”

‘Spellbinding, really?’ Harry couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous statement, though he also definitely felt his cheeks heat up in the process.

Louis nodded solemnly, then reached out to slowly tangle his fingers in Harry’s – giving him ample time to pull away if he’d wanted to.

“Yeah, spellbinding. I know it sounds stupid when I say that out loud, but I really mean it,” he replied, a soft smile spreading over his face as he realized Harry had only tightened his hold on his hand.

Harry stared at Louis, before slowly shaking his head. ‘‘s not stupid at all.’

They continued their walk to the town square, hands swinging together between their bodies, until Harry caught sight of the big clock and realised he only had a few minutes left to make it in time. He quickened his pace immediately, forcing Louis to stumble as he suddenly had to catch up with Harry’s larger strides.

“I’m guessing you need to hurry, hm?” Louis panted as they finally came to a stop right in front of the bench where they’d met earlier.

He just nodded, to which Louis suddenly leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Good luck with that meeting Ed, ‘specially if you’re wearing those slippers,” he added with a smirk, leaving Harry dumbfounded for a second, before looking down at his footwear.

He wanted to explain – not that he knew how he could explain that away, but the fact he was running out of time meant that all he could do was shrug and wave, before turning around and speedwalking in the direction he’d originally came from.

 

He really was only just in time, when he saw Andy and Dave climb out of the black vehicle they’d also arrived in earlier that day.

“A success, sir?” Andy asked gruffly, to which Harry just nodded – a blinding smile on his face.

‘Yeah, I ran into this man and he-’

He was just in time to stop himself from blabbing about losing his wallet, and Louis helping him find it, when he realised how stupid that would’ve been.

“Yes?” Dave probed, climbing into the car after Harry had settled down in the backseat so he could start them on their drive back to the lodge.

‘Never mind, just, I had a nice time and a nice talk – without anyone recognising me. It was good.’

Only, now Harry’s mind was stuck on Louis again and suddenly the smile disappeared off of his face. Because how was he suppose to actually take him up for the offer of a drink, when he had no way of finding him again? They hadn’t exchanged numbers, he didn’t even really know anything substantial except that Louis had been nice, was British, didn’t recognise him, and was also unfairly attractive and interested in him.

With a sigh, he let his wallet fall into his lap, before frowning at it. He’d been so distracted by Louis’ presence, that he hadn’t even bothered to check if anything _had_ been stolen from there. He quickly opened it only to see a little piece of paper and some small change in there, plus his driver’s license.

Clearly Louis had been right in saying they usually just took all of the cash and left the wallet itself alone. However, Harry’s gaze was drawn towards the wrinkled piece of paper. He couldn’t remember anything of the sorts being in there prior to this morning when he’d left the lodge with cash stuffed in it.

He frowned as he took it out, before carefully folding it open.

“What do you have there, Sir? Anything we should be concerned about?” Andy asked him suddenly, startling Harry out of reading the actual note.

Distracted, he looked up to meet his bodyguard’s stern eyes. He let his eyes flicker towards the note, and in that moment Harry decided to be reckless. He shook his head.

‘Nothing to worry, just a piece of paper.’

Apparently, he wasn’t very convincing, since Andy shot him an unimpressed look, making Harry mutter out the rest of his sentence – ‘that I got from a boy.’

Andy immediately reached over for it, and while Harry was fast, he wasn’t as fast as his security and personal trainer.

Immediately, Andy started to scrutinize the piece of paper – making Harry roll his eyes. ‘I’m pretty sure it’s not going to explode in my face.’

Andy shook his head. “Sir, you hardly have any idea as to the kind of threats you are under on a daily basis. While I support the intention to keep you ignorant on most of them, it would be preferable if you would let us do our jobs – rather than receiving conspicuous notes from strangers.”

It made him sink back into his seat with a frown etched into his forehead, as he watched Andy carefully unfold the crumpled up note. He hated the argument his bodyguard had made, simply because it was a valid one. Harry was abstractly aware of the fact he was a ‘target’, and he also understood why they didn’t tell him about any of the threats unless they were substantive and believed to be of direct concern to him. It still irked him, that he had no privacy whatsoever. Which was one of the reasons why he’d wanted to go on this holiday in the first place.

‘Fine. I’d rather have read it myself, since it is _probably_ meant for me – not my head of security,’ he couldn’t help but snap, though Andy unperturbedly let his eyes scan the message.

He apparently deemed it safe, because without moving one facial muscle, he suddenly thrusted the note back at Harry. “Do you know this kid’s last name?”

He shook his head slowly, wondering why that would even matter, but he couldn’t bother thinking of a reason when he was too preoccupied with reading the words Louis’d scribbled onto the paper.

 

_Ed,_

_Hope you don’t mind me putting some paper in your wallet – I promise it’s an appropriate place, considering it is something of value. I don’t give my phone number to just any stranger, but you did promise me a cocktail, and well – I plan on redeeming that offer. Hope to hear from you soon, x Louis_

 

Harry couldn’t help the grin that spread onto his face as he read the note, before immediately reaching for his phone to put Louis’ number in.

However, he was effectively stopped from doing so by Andy’s hand stilling his own arm. “Sir, I’d rather you not contact this man until we’ve done a background check.”

‘Andy! Come on, he doesn’t even _know_ I’m, well, me! He's got no idea I'm a prince! He didn’t recognise me and I never bothered explaining, then introduced myself as Ed. Please let me have this. _Please,_ ’ Harry pleaded, ready to involve Dave who’d shut off the engine of the car as they’d arrived at the lodge again.

Dave, however, didn’t need any convincing, apparently. He shot Harry one penetrating look, before giving a short nod towards Andy.

“If he’s sure this man doesn’t realise he wrote a note with his number on it and gave it to HRH, it should be alright.”

Andy shook his head at his partner’s decision, before letting out a relenting sigh. ‘Fine. But once we’re back from Jamaica, no more bending protocol for you, Sir. I don’t like this at all. We let you roam around unsupervised one time, and you immediately start receiving notes from strangers.’

Harry ignored his grumbles, and instead reached out to give Dave, and then Andy a hug – before ecstatically jumping out of the vehicle.

‘Thank you. Honestly, you have no idea how much this means to me. What to text, what to text…’

 

Just like that, Harry stumbled back into the lodge – leaving Andy and Dave to clear out the car and follow suit.

With another shake of his head, Andy looked over at Dave. ‘Are you sure about this?’

“He’s young. He needs to live a bit, before he is confined to the palace life, and upper class parties where he’ll be constantly matched with potential suitors. He deserves the chance to find love on his own, even if it’s a shortlived summer romance.”

Andy nodded at his partner’s words. He was right, he knew that, but he couldn’t help his gut feeling.

‘I know Dave, I just can’t help but think something’s off.’

Dave laughed at that, before clapping Andy on the back. “I think that’s your parental instinct. Because no matter what this grows into, it won’t last, and someone’ll leave with their heart broken. But we can’t protect him from that.”

Andy harrumphed. He’d been working on Harry’s security ever since he was a teenager. He’d seen the boy’s feelings get trampled on by some stupid punk who’d thought money more valuable than Harry’s heart. He’d also seen Harry struggle with his public role as prince, and how being out had given him both a platform to help others, as well as enormous responsibilities, expectations and obligations that were – quite frankly – too much to ask of one person. And he knew that those obligations were awaiting Harry at home. A life that he didn’t really have much control over.

So Andy supposed that Dave was right, this time around. ‘Alright then. I hope that bloke’s worth it.’

“Jamaica’s not _that_ big of an island. If he misbehaves, we’ll find him.”


	2. Two

 

Harry was nervous. He hadn’t been on a proper date in actual ages. He was 25 now, and he supposed the last time he’d gone on a date was back when he was in uni. The time he’d been on a date and had actually _enjoyed_ his company was much longer ago.

He was just wiping his sweaty hands on his jean shorts once again, when he felt Louis’ presence nearby. Immediately he looked up, only to be met by two lovely blue eyes staring back at him.

“I believe you owed me a drink?” He said teasingly, and Harry just nodded, motioning for Louis to take the seat at the bar next to him.

‘Yeah, and er – if you like, we could like, have something to eat as well?’ Harry added quickly, suddenly doubting his presumptive nature and the reservations he’d made for the two of them. Maybe he’d misunderstood, and Louis had simply wanted something in return for helping him out and he wasn’t looking for a bit of romance at all.

Just as he was about to externalize his internal freakout, Louis let his hand rest on Harry’s arm, giving it a small squeeze, before giving him a small smile. “I’d love that.”

And so they had a drink or two – strawberry daiquiris because Harry liked the soft pink hue of them, and Louis admitted that he secretly liked cocktails way better than beer, since they tasted like lemonade and not ‘like piss’ – before relocating to the restaurant Harry had picked out for the night.

He’d wanted to impress, but he also didn’t want to be too obvious or come across as someone who thinks cash can buy anything, so he’d gone for a nice mid-budget restaurant that had gotten very good reviews on Yelp. Dave had helped him pick, and he hoped to God Louis would like it too.

As soon as they’d been seated, Louis had reached out to lace his hand with Harry over the table. “This is lovely,” he’d whispered, before making a cheeky remark about the way the menu reminded him of his sisters’ nailpolish collection given the array of colours and the inventive dish names.

Conversation had flowed easily – they’d talked about mundane things like how he was liking Jamaica, and if he’d travelled a lot, before switching to more personal things, like family.

Harry choked on his water when Louis explained he was one of seven, as he tried to compare the image Louis was painting of his youth to that of himself. It endeared him though, especially when Louis whipped out his phone to show Harry photos of his youngest baby brother and sister.

‘They’re adorable,’ Harry said, making Louis’ eyes crinkle in a way that he was going to commit to his memory forever – hoping he’d be able to elicit such genuine happiness from the man more often.

“Hm, they are – but also total menaces. Must’ve been loads different what with you having just one sister,” Louis coaxed, and Harry smiled as he thought of Gemma, and his mum.

‘Yeah, but it wasn’t quiet either. We’re both quite cheeky, tried to get away with as much as possible. Though I suppose that once we started working, we naturally became more responsible.’

Louis nodded at that, before asking another question. “What does she do?”

It was a very fair and normal question to ask when you’re trying to get to know one another, and really, Harry should’ve seen this coming. Still, Harry’s mind went blank for a short second.

‘Erm,’ he started, ‘she, well you see. The firm I work for is a family corporation. She’s my mum’s protégé. So quite busy these days.’ He did miss hanging out with Gemma, but he also understood that she was needed elsewhere now. She had a duty to their country, and being a stubborn princess organising pranks with her little brother weren’t that high on the priority list of her agenda.

Louis frowned, as if he didn’t like the idea of Harry not having his big sister to hang out with anymore. “You must miss her, then. Is the family business something you’ve always wanted to do yourself? Or is it just expected of you? I mean, it must be nice to get to travel to Jamaica for work, but I can also imagine how it might strain personal relationships.”

He shrugged at Louis’ question. He’d never had a choice to consider anything else, had he? He’d been born into it, and he’d been conditioned from the start that this was going to be his life. Noone expected him to fall in love with it – they did expect him to deal with things as graceful as possible and to fulfil his duties to the best of his abilities.

‘I’m grateful for all the opportunities that I’ve gotten through the firm, and I try to do my best. That’s all I can do, really.’

His answer only made Louis narrow his eyes even more, but Harry was far more distracted by the way Louis was rubbing soothing circles into his hand with his thumb.

“But what if you’d wanted to do something different, anything really. What would you’ve chosen to do?”

Harry didn’t know, and the realization of that made him slightly uncomfortable. So instead, he just gave Louis one of his dimpled smiles – one he knew worked on most country officials like pure magic, as he turned the question on him. “Why are we still talking about me? What about you, hm? What’s your dream job?”

Louis grinned at that, taking another sip of the wine they’d ordered with their food, before looking up at Harry from under his eyelashes – God were those eyelashes beautiful, Harry thought to himself.

‘Alright, alright. Erm, my dream job? I think, in another life, I’d like to be a drama teacher to kids. Even considered it for a while there,’ Louis trailed off, as if lost in a hazy memory, before he blinked and focused back on Harry. ‘But you know, life worked out differently.’

They were quiet for a bit, just enjoying each other’s company, before Louis’ eyes suddenly started sparkling with mischief all over again.

‘So, Teddy,’ Louis spoke - the nickname, while based on Harry’s fake name, managing to give him butterflies. ‘What do you say we go out into the night, do some stargazing on the beach, try some of Jamaica’s finest products?’

A bit dazed at the fact that Louis had just suggested they go stargazing, Harry just nodded – though he could feel his conscience perform a tug-of-war over whether or not he would engage in smoking weed. On the one hand, he was very aware of the fact he’d never used before and he had no clue as to how he would respond to it. Moreover – if anyone would catch him high as a kite, his reputation would be ruined and he was quite sure his mother would kill him. And given the fact his mother was the Queen of England, his mind _did_ wonder about the London Towers for a bit.

On the other hand, this was probably going to be his one and only chance of ever getting to try it. And he trusted Louis, somehow. Maybe it was reckless, maybe it was stupid, maybe it was his dick telling his brains what to do, but he _wanted_.

Which is how he found himself lying back in the cool sand next to Louis, who was busy rolling a spliff for them to share.

“So, how often do you, er – smoke?” Harry asked tentatively, as he watched Louis’ nimble fingers work with ease.

It elicited a snort from Louis, who looked over fondly, before ruffling Harry’s short curls. He’d recently cut his hair – he supposed it definitely helped keeping him off the radar as no one had yet seen his short ‘do. Still, he liked the appreciation Louis seemed to have for the cut, since he’d been a bit unsure about it himself.

‘Not often. ‘s not great when you’re on the job. But, for relaxation, yeah. ‘m on holiday, aren’t I?’

Harry hummed, eyes still drawn to Louis’ hand as he now lit the spliff, then followed his movement when he lifted it to his lips and took a long drag.

Louis eyed him silently, then offered him the blunt. ‘s like smoking a normal ciggy, really. Just gotta inhale properly.’

He immediately scrambled to sit up, before gingerly taking the blunt from Louis’ fingers. He _had_ smoked before, but he’d never been a big fan of fully inhaling. “Smoking’s bad for your lungs, innit?” he muttered, to which Louis gave a startled laugh.

He was still debating on how best to go about this, as he didn’t want to come across as someone who’d never used before, even though he suspected Louis could tell – when he suddenly felt Louis’ hand encompass Harry’s own.

‘You _really_ don’t have to do this. It’s fine if you don’t want to, ‘s not for everyone. No harm done. Would quite like to just watch some stars with you.’

Harry’s chest felt as if it was going to combust from warmth, as he took in Louis’ words. It was incredibly thoughtful of him, and the concerned look in his eyes told Harry that Louis wasn’t just saying it for the sake of it.

‘I mean it Teddy, ‘s absolutely fine with me. I can just put it out and like, save it for some other time. Or give it to Zayn. God knows how much he likes a good blunt now and again.’

Somehow, the mention of the handsome man that Louis was apparently staying with and also shared joints with, made Harry’s blood boil irrationally. He knew he had no claim whatsoever over Louis, and it was ridiculous to feel jealous over the implication of them sharing a joint, but before he realized, Harry had petulantly raised the blunt to his lips and took a large inhale.

Within seconds, he had to pull away – coughing overtaking him, while Louis took to patting Harry on the back.

“Egh, ‘m sorry, God that was awful! ‘s it meant to be that awful? I probably should’ve said I’ve never smoked weed before,” Harry hacked out between coughs, immediately handing the joint back to Louis, who just laughed before taking another drag.

Once he exhaled, he spoke up again. ‘s quite alright love, could tell by your facial expression. You just have to, you know, do it properly.’

Maybe it was the alcohol that was still cursing through his veins that made Harry feel adventurous, or maybe it was the fact that he’d told himself that this was his one last shot at making the most out of his ‘private citizen holiday’ – but before he knew it, he was suggesting Louis to teach him.

“I think you just have to show me. You know, _educate me_. You said you wanted to be a teacher, right?”

He sat up excitedly, as Louis just raised his brows, before puffing out a perfect ring of smoke right into Harry’s face. He wrinkled his nose at the strange, sweet smell that came with smoking weed, but didn’t deter from his mission of Louis showing him how to do it.

‘Teaching drama and teaching someone how to smoke a blunt are hardly the same thing,’ Louis argued, holding up the blunt for Harry to take.

Harry didn’t budge though, so Louis sighed, before shuffling closer so their knees were touching as he sat cross-legged, mirroring Harry’s own position.

Louis lifted the joint again to his own lips, but right before he was about to take another drag, he eyed Harry up. ‘You sure about this?’

Harry just nodded – he still felt loose, warm and giddy from the alcohol, though he was also fairly sure that the constant buzzing in his veins was mostly to do with being so close to Louis all the time.

‘Have you ever shotgunned, Teddy?’ Louis asked suddenly, eyes locked onto Harry’s green orbs.

He felt exposed like that, as if Louis could see straight through him, look right into his heart and soul. He didn’t mind, though. He was too preoccupied enjoying the appreciative glint in those deep pools of blue to care. Besides, the mention of shotgunning – well, he’d be lying if it didn’t get him excited. The prospect of his lips touching Louis’ lips was heavenly to him.

“I’ve – heard of it. Never participated in it.” He hoped Louis wouldn’t pull back because of his inexperience with it, and he didn’t disappoint. The smirk on Louis’ face actually seemed to signal he was quite ready to instruct Harry exactly on what to do.

‘That’s alright. ‘s a first time for everything, hm? Just, leave your lips parted – like that, yeah, and I’ll just – blow the smoke right into your mouth. Might be easier for you.’

Harry was fairly sure it didn’t make things easier at all. He’d still have to inhale it, instead of coughing it out right away. Though, if shotgunning _would_ involve mouth-to-mouth contact, he’d probably be too distracted to feel the itch in his lungs.

So he just nodded, eyes transfixed by Louis inhaling deeply, slowly – as if he was taking his sweet time just to torture Harry for as long as possible. Then, finally, he let go of the blunt, seemed to relish in the smoke burning its way into his lungs, before he opened his eyes. They were already glazing over, tiny veins coming to the front, when he winked at Harry and leaned his body towards him.

Within seconds Harry felt soft lips ghost over his own, making him instantly part his lips in response before he felt the smoke being blown into his mouth.

The experience of being so close to kissing but not _actually_ being kissed almost caused sensory overload. It was new, exhilarating, exciting, and erotic as it quite literally made his head feel fuzzy due to his breath being taken away.

In fact, he was so preoccupied with wanting to make the moment last longer, he didn’t realize how much easier it was this time around to keep the smoke inside of him. Louis’ face was still hovering close to Harry, eyes carefully tracking and cataloguing everything on his face it seemed.

He was about to lean in and capture his lips in a real kiss this time, when an undisclosed emotion suddenly passed over Louis’ features, before he instantly pulled away. Harry frowned, but he also didn’t want to seem too eager, so he decided to let it slide instead.

Louis cleared his throat, then offered the joint to Harry once more as he raised his eyebrow. ‘You ready to try on your own again?’

He couldn’t help but snort, before determinedly taking a long drag while Louis held it to his mouth. He didn’t cough this time around, just playfully let some smoke escape as he breathed out in Louis’ direction.

Louis smiled and shook his head at him, then copied Harry’s move and laid back down, taking drags once in a while before offering it back to Harry.

When Harry was starting to develop the uncontrollable urge to giggle, feeling woozy as he looked up at the stars, he reckoned the weed was doing its job. Especially when he then looked at Louis and blurted out that his eyes resembled ‘a blue universe’.

Luckily, Louis was high enough to just smile at him dopily with bloodshot eyes, before curling into him, letting his hand rest on Harry’s waist.

‘Do you ever think about different universes? Like, a universe where you’re an entirely different you?’ He suddenly asked, after they’d been quiet for a while.

Harry’d been drifting off, if he was being honest, and he hadn’t even realised he’d been letting his head rest on Louis’ shoulder for the last couple of minutes. Louis’ words made him lift his head off of him for a little bit, so he could actually look at Louis properly while he thought about an answer.

Or well, an acceptable answer. Even though Harry was high, he wasn’t about to tell Louis who he really was in _this_ universe. He liked being anonymous, having a clean slate, far too much for that.

“Yeah, ‘f course. ‘m sure there’s a universe where I’m a baker. Have my own little pastry shop. Or one where I’m a famous rockstar, that’d be fun. Or in a band – I’d love that. What about you? What would you be?”

Louis hummed for a bit, then shook out his fringe and fixed it back in place, before settling those crystal blue eyes back on Harry’s. ‘Not sure what I’d be. I’d hope I’d get to meet you in every one of them though. Maybe I could be the tattoo artist that’s right next to your pastry shop. Or I could be your tour manager, or maybe I’m in the band with you. We could sing Green Day songs. I used to sing Green Day songs. And The Fray. Or maybe we’d never meet, but we’d still be looking at the same sky. Or we’d pass each other by at a concert. Do you like concerts, Ed?’

Then his eyes lit up, and he gave Harry a nudge. ‘Maybe you’re Ed _Sheeran_ in another universe.’

Harry was admittedly still stuck on the part where Louis’d said he’d hoped they would meet no matter the universe, that he hadn’t even registered the Ed Sheeran reference. He just let out a weak chuckle once he realized Louis was waiting for some sort of response, then found himself staring at Louis’ lips once more. The tension between hadn’t wavered, not even when Louis had initially pulled away.

“I want to shotgun again,” he blurted out. Louis’ lips curled up in a smile, before shrugging.

‘You take the lead then, if you want it so much,’ he teased, handing over the blunt that by now was down to a little stump.

Harry shuffled back into place, sitting as close as possible to Louis, then inhaled deeply. He could feel the smoke burning as it settled into his body, before leaning into Louis’ space. He hesitated for a second, but then Louis wiggled impatiently in place and decided to connect their mouths all on his own.

This time, there was no hovering over each other, or just the feint touch of skin on skin. This time, Harry could feel soft pressure on his own lips as he breathed into Louis’ mouth, could taste not just the smoke, but also something intrinsically Louis on his tongue. It was sweet and soft, yet escalated quickly when Harry couldn’t keep quiet as he felt Louis’ hand drift towards his hair, tugging on some tendrils ever so slightly.

It was like the whimper he let escape into Louis’ mouth triggered something in the other man, since he suddenly sat up straighter, pushing Harry back onto the beach as they kept their lips attached. Immediately, Louis swung a leg over his body, his ass perched dangerously close to Harry’s crotch, as he leaned down to press soft kisses onto Harry’s jaw, trailing a path towards his neck, before leaving a biting kiss right at the junction of his jaw and ear.

“You’re so beautiful,” Harry breathed out as he leaned back, knowing he’d regret letting his head touch the sand. He’d probably have to shower three times just to get all the sand out of his hair. Not that he minded.

Louis lifted his head from where he was working on sucking a hickey onto Harry’s skin, then gave him a devious grin as he dove right back in, connecting their lips once more.

It all felt exhilarating, exciting and slightly overwhelming to Harry. He’d never had that before. Unhurried, languid kissing in the dead of night, on a beach – with a boy who didn’t want him because he was the prince, but because he was _just_ Harry. Or well, Ed.

Nevertheless, he was also horny. Obviously he found himself terribly attracted to Louis, given the way he looked – but the man was also sweet, kind, witty and smart. Or at least, as far as Harry had gotten to know Louis over dinner and their stargazing session, aided by some weed. Then there was the fact that weed itself was making him feel even more unhinged, and also the distance ratio between Louis’ beautiful bum and Harry’s dick.

He was about to let his hands slip a bit lower from where they’d been caressing Louis’ back and the dimples at the bottom of his spine, when Louis suddenly groaned and tore himself off of Harry, rolling to the side.

Messy as he looked, with his hair flopping to all sides, a slight sheen of sweat onto his forehead, and his shirt all bunched up with an almost feral look of lust in his eyes, Harry was quite certain this man was the culmination of any fantasy he’d ever had about men.

He was breathing heavily, eyes closed – his long eyelashes fanned out over his cheekbones, and honestly Harry couldn’t help but reach out, gently caressing his face as he got rid of the fringe that was hiding Louis away from him.

‘We – I, err, I mean – I should walk you home, probably.’ Louis suddenly spoke softly, slowly lifting his eyes so he could look at Harry properly as his own hand came to rest on top of Harry’s, keeping it cradled around his face.

A frown etched itself into Harry’s forehead. “Why?”

Hadn’t they just been having a lot of fun? Sure, the beach and sand wasn’t necessarily the best place to get off, but it was romantic and well, Harry was horny. And he could see by the way Louis’ jorts were straining around his bulge, that he was horny too.

‘Because, I like you. And right now, I’m really high, and I think you should wear a flower crown and possibly make a sand angel, so you’d have wings and we could fly away and have all the sex we want. But I’m not high enough to not see how that’d be a bad idea, _Teddy_. I like you too much to end up with sand in places it doesn’t belong, with the risk of not even seeing you again to apologise and  then laugh about it.’

“You have no idea how much sensible sex talk actually turns me on,” Harry groaned, before sighing in agreement.

Louis just grinned, then leaned in to peck Harry’s lips. ‘I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not,’ he supplied as his hands reached out to give Harry’s dick a light squeeze through the fabric of his jeans, then pushed himself up.

‘Let’s get back, yeah? So you can sleep the weed haze off before you’ve got to be back at the firm.’

For a second, Harry tensed up at the mention of his job, before realizing that Louis had no clue as to what ‘the firm’ entailed for him.

He shot Louis a smile, then made use of the hand  he’d outstretched to help Harry up from the beach. He didn’t let go once he was back on his feet again, keeping their hands linked as they slowly started walking.

It was all sorts of magical, really. A beautiful night sky stretched out all around them, the temperature finally bearable now that the sun had gone down fully, with a nice ocean breeze rustling their clothes, and the absolute best company he’d ever had.

Harry hadn’t really believed in love. Not after seeing his parents’ marriage end in divorce. Not after having his first kiss exploited, leaving him feeling used and dirty, guilty and _ashamed_ for just being who he was. Not after realizing that as a prince, certain expectations were placed upon him – and those expectations had ten-folded the moment he came out.

He wasn’t opposed to what he’d be coming back to. Which was essentially a year-long attempt to set him up with someone, _anyone_ he’d find agreeable as companion. If only for a while, to placate the press.

What he hadn’t expected, was to meet someone on his last hurrah holiday of freedom, and feel like he’d been knocked off his feet by them. He hadn’t ever experienced infatuation at first sight the way he had when Louis had come up to him.

For a second, Harry wondered if it was the weed that was making him feel all giddy about the fact Louis and him were holding hands and enjoying each other’s company in silence. But then he remembered he’d felt just as giddy earlier at dinner, and when Louis had guided him back to the market square even before that.

“Lou, did I tell you that you make me feel like a fizzy drink?”

Louis snorted at Harry’s random outburst as they continued shuffling through the sandy beach slowly. Harry had long lost any sense of direction, but he also couldn’t really care where he was going, as long as he could spend a little more time with Louis.

‘My sister’s called Fizzy,’ the latter rushed to say, as if he wanted to ensure Harry that he hadn’t snorted because of the sentiment in Harry’s words. ‘Or well, I guess not really. She’s Felicité, but me and my other siblings call her Fizz.’

“Is she bubbly then?” Harry couldn’t help but ask, making Louis stop in his tracks as he shot Harry an incredulous look.

‘I can’t believe you just said that,’ he wondered out loud, before letting out another giggle, swinging their hands between their bodies.

Harry shrugged, not being able to contain the smile that was making its way onto his face as he watched Louis enjoy his puns. People always got exasperated by his penchant for puns – even his mother and Gemma had told him to cut it out at times. No one had ever given him that same look of fondness and incredulity after a joke.

He wanted to bottle it up and carry it with him forever. He wanted to make him laugh many more times in the future. He hoped Louis would let him.

They continued their walk, talking and joking around, occasionally letting a comfortable silence settle in while they appreciated the company and their surroundings.

Harry suspected the fresh air had also helped with sobering him up quite quickly, as he suddenly realized he wasn’t all that hazy anymore. He was hungry – the munchies, he supposed – but definitely much more lucid than he’d been before.

‘Oops, I think we’ve just entered private beach territory,’ Louis murmured as he gave Harry’s hand a quick squeeze, increasing his awareness of his surroundings even further.

Indeed, right in front of them was the fencing that Harry had inspected upon his arrival at the private lodge he’d be staying at. In fact, he’d been on the other side of the fence just that morning as he’d taken an early swim to wake up his body properly.

‘We can head back, or we can do some breaking and entering, if you’re up for it,’ Louis offered, making Harry laugh.

It wasn’t breaking and entering if he was staying on that beach in the first place, was it?

So he tightened his grip on Louis’ hand, and for the first time that night – he took the lead, dragging Louis along towards the entry gate. He realised that Andy and Dave would absolutely kill him for bringing a virtual stranger back to the lodge, but they’d be fast asleep by now. Besides, their sleeping quarters weren’t _that_ near Harry’s own. If they were quiet, he could sneak them in and cook them something to eat.

Because, God, was Harry getting hungry. Maybe he wasn’t _as_ lucid as he’d imagined himself to be.

‘I’m guessing breaking and entering it is then,’ Louis joked, pupils dilated from either the weed or the adrenalin, Harry wasn’t sure. All he knew is that within seconds, he found himself venturing off the path he’d originally intended them to take, suddenly following Louis instead of the other way around.

He giggled, then pulled on Louis’ arm. “No no, don’t worry - it’s not breaking and entering if I live there, isn’t it? We were walking me home, anyways. I’ll let us in.”  

Louis shot him a weird smile, then nodded in acquiescence. ‘Right, sure, I knew that.’

That made Harry laugh even louder, because surely he hadn’t told Louis he’d been staying here before. However, the moment a guffaw left his throat, he clamped a hand over his mouth, realizing he was being way too noisy for someone who wanted to sneak in undetected. Then, a strange thought made its way to the forefront of his brain.

“Louis, surely… you didn’t – did you _really_ think we’d go break and enter someone’s home? Someone’s private property?” Harry questioned.

The blue-eyed man shrugged, before patting his tummy with his hand. The movement distracted Harry’s train of thought – he did have a rather nice looking tummy, and very delicate hands that made Harry want to immediately reach out and encompass them again with his own.

‘To be honest, ‘m just quite hungry and still a bit high – wouldn’t really mind to invite meself in somewhere. ‘s not like the people who stay here wouldn’t have enough to share a bit, don’t they? Didn’t realise you were a posh boy though, Ed. Is it short for Edward then? S’pose you do have that same ethereal glow Edward Cullen had going on,’ Louis mused.

He frowned at the suggestion he looked anything like Edward Cullen, but decided instead to focus on the route into the lodge with the lowest risk of disturbing anyone else.

Louis followed him as they tiptoed quietly towards the entrance, before Harry unlocked it to let them inside. He wondered for a second if they’d run into Andy or Dave, but he’d been expressly clear there would be no ‘waiting up for Harry’. He’d inform them he had returned via text message later, Harry decided, as he pulled Louis into the kitchen.  

However, he almost pushed him right back out of the kitchen again as he was met with the pale face of his private secretary.

‘Liam?!’

The man in question almost dropped his plate of food at being addressed, as he immediately made an effort to bow. Harry waved him off, but Liam was a stickler for protocol.

“Sir, I’m _so_ sorry, I only just arrived – jetlag, you see. I was just getting something to eat, before going to bed,” Liam rushed out with a stricken expression on his face, as he pointed to his suitcase that was indeed still in the hallway.

Harry frowned, as he looked between the suitcase and Liam, then realized that Louis was still standing behind them as Liam had been sneaking a glance at the man, prior to averting his eyes.

Louis seemed to try and hide behind Harry’s body, which he could understand. Liam’s unprompted arrival had kind of ruined the moment, making him feel like he’d been doused in cold water – the high leaving his body. He sighed, then motioned for Liam to stay put for a second. ‘Liam, what are you doing here? I thought – it was supposed to be just Andy, Dave and me.’

Liam nodded as Harry spoke, having been made very aware that the trip was going to be a private trip. Nevertheless, he gave Harry a helpless look right after.

“There were some, hmm, ah – how to put this.. there were some … concerns? I do think it’s best we discuss this tomorrow, once you’re, ” Liam trailed off for a second, quickly glancing over at Louis, “ _alone_.”

He could hear Louis snort from where he was standing, and Harry just let out a sigh of relief that he wasn’t totally freaked out at what was happening. There was essentially a strange man in Harry’s kitchen talking about discussing things, calling Harry ‘sir’ – enough reason for Louis to be suspicious. Yet he was just grinning along. Maybe it was the weed still, but Harry was fairly sure Louis hadn’t been all that affected to begin with.

The moment Harry nodded at Liam, he disappeared back into the house – leaving Louis and Harry alone in the kitchen once more.

‘I’m _so_ sorry about that. I had no idea he’d be here, obviously,’ Harry started to apologize, but Louis just shook his head.

“Hey, work’s important. Sometimes it interferes with downtime, it’s fine – don’t worry about it. I can also… go?”

While he spoke, his stomach started rumbling, making Harry just raise his eyebrows at him, before pointing towards the kitchen bar chair that Liam had just vacated.

Louis held up both hands in defense as he shuffled over to the chair, sitting down dutifully. ‘Alright then, _sir_ ,’ he teased.

Right. Liam had referred to him as sir, which really wasn’t normal. Perhaps not the level of weird that would lead Louis to believe he was a prince, or a royal, but definitely the level of weird that would lead to more questions.

It was then and there that Harry made the decision to keep up the charade though. He _liked_ having someone interested in him for just him, someone who didn’t address him with stuffy terms and worried about ‘protocol’ or ‘tradition’, or was really only looking to add a title and money and status to their own name.

So instead, he just grinned back and asked Louis if he liked cheese toasties. He did.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter had to be split up in two to keep them all similar length!

When Harry woke up, his head was pounding slightly, and his arm felt like lead.

He figured the latter was because he had slept in a rather strange position that had resulted in his arm dangling off of the bed for probably a good couple of hours. As he stretched and rolled back into the middle of his bed, a smile spread onto his face as he recounted what had happened the night – or well, early morning – before.

Sure there’d been a little hiccup what with Liam appearing, and he definitely needed to find out what that was all about – especially as his mother had _promised_ him he’d have a private trip this final time as a belated birthday gift, but. He had also spent more than 6 hours with Louis.

Six heavenly hours that he was actually awake, that is. Definitely more, when he counted the fact that Louis had fallen asleep halfway through munching on a cheese toastie and Harry had carried him to his bed. Shortly after depositing him on said bed, Louis had woken up only to inform Harry that he certainly did not fall into anyone’s bed like this so quickly after meeting them – because it was ‘unprofessional’. He’d then also informed Harry that he would make an exception for him, as long as Harry agreed to share the bed and would be the big spoon. He hadn’t quite understood the latter request even though he’d initially agreed, as he found himself being manhandled into the little spoon position just mere minutes after having laid down.

Not that he minded, of course. Despite Harry being quite tall, he’d always preferred being the little spoon – so he was ecstatic to find that Louis and him were even cuddle-compatible.

Obviously Harry wasn’t in love or anything, but he was definitely infatuated by the blue-eyed man. He had never experienced something quite like it before – the way they so easily seemed to fall together. It was as if they magically fit like two puzzle pieces, talking and bantering back and forth as if they’d known each other for years, rather than mere minutes.

He realised that it was, perhaps, rather soon to make such claims after a mere six conscious hours with someone. Which is why Harry was looking forward to spend at least another hour with Louis at the breakfast bar, and also why he was subsequently disappointed to find Louis gone come morning.

When he’d rolled over, only to find that the bed was cold and much too spacious all of a sudden, he’d assumed maybe Louis had gone downstairs already. He’d panicked for two seconds, worrying about what would happen if Louis were to run into either his security detail or Liam, or both – and he’d scrambled out of bed at the mere thought of it.

The reality of the matter brought both relief and disappointment to him. Louis was nowhere to be found, and hadn’t even left him a message or anything. Maybe it would’ve been strange to have their date go on until the next morning, but Harry had been really looking forward to making him breakfast – like he imagined people did if they weren’t the ‘spare prince’.

“What are you pouting about?” Andy announced, as he carried boxing equipment into the spacious living room.

Harry sighed, ‘nothing’. He couldn’t quite complain about how Louis had left him hanging, without giving away that Louis had actually been inside the compound. Judging by Andy’s carefree attitude, Harry supposed neither him or Dave had noticed anything off, and he wanted it to stay that way.

He eyed the boxing gloves, before plopping down on the couch as he got his phone out. He needed to reach out to Louis first, to let him know how much he’d enjoyed them spending time together. He’d try and muster up energy for his daily workout afterwards.

While he was busy composing his text, writing and deleting his message at least 3 times – he heard Liam join them, as he greeted Andy.

‘Harry – if you’ve got a minute, there’s some things we need to discuss?’

He rolled his eyes internally, though he should’ve expected Liam wanted to get things over with as soon as possible. He supposed it would be better for Harry too – at least with business out of the way, he’d be able to focus back on his holiday, and back on Louis.

He quickly gave the text he’d settled on one more look, before sending it off without further ado, then turned to Liam.

“Yeah, just lay it on me, then I can punch out any frustration later on, if necessary.”

Andy snorted, but Liam looked slightly miffed.

He was a pretty good boxer, better at it than Harry was, actually – though he was always torn between friendship and duty when it came to retorts.

‘You’ve got the invitation to your friend Niall’s wedding that will need an RSVP,’ Liam started – immediately brightening Harry’s spirits as he was reminded of his friend and how excited he’d been to announce him and Annie had finally gotten engaged.

“Wonderful! Obviously I’ll be there,” Harry exclaimed as he reached over to sign the RSVP card Niall had sent him, smiling at the personalised message scribbled on the flipside.

_You better be there, I can’t get married without my best friend cheering me on! X Nialler_

Liam nodded, and gingerly put the card back into the file he’d brought along. ‘We’ll have to arrange transport and security. Given Niall’s occupation, it’d be appropriate to limit your high-profile involvement in the wedding,’ Liam seemed to hesitate for a second there, as if he was aware Harry wouldn’t be happy with it, before following through. ‘Of course, given the fact that Niall has asked his brother to be the best man, it should be perfectly acceptable for his Royal Highness to attend the ceremony in the capacity of a groomsman for Niall – provided there be close consultation between the wedding planners and the firm as to set up proper security and privacy protocols.’

Harry just nodded, and motioned for Liam to continue. He’d already been aware that his close friendship to the successful Irish singer/songwriter would at times give rise to issues, clashing with protocols and privacy, and most of all the secrecy of the Royal Family.

Nevertheless, he was glad Liam had already taken up the matter within the firm, signalling he’d spoken to his mother’s private secretary and the press office as not to cause any confusion or alarm.

‘Right, well. Here’s another patronage application that needs a signature from you, and your mother has requested for you to call her this afternoon?’

Liam was dawdling, and Harry wasn’t sure why. “Right, I’ll get to that later today. Now, spit it out,” he prompted, to which Liam’s gaze shot up to meet his.

‘Forgive me if I’m – overstepping, but the, er, gentleman that I briefly met last night – should we prepare a dossier?’

Affronted, Harry shook his head immediately.

“A _dossier_? No. _Louis_ will not be treated as a criminal when he hasn’t done anything wrong. He doesn’t even know I’m a prince.”

Liam gave him a sceptical look, ‘I highly doubt someone that’s British would not be aware that you are, in fact, His Royal Highness Harry Edward Charles James of Windsor-Styles.’

“How do you know he’s British – Liam, did you eavesdrop?”

His private secretary’s cheeks immediately burned up, and Harry wasn’t even sure whether he was supposed to be outraged or delighted at the fact Liam had clearly broken protocol.

‘I didn’t mean to, I swear. It’s just, sir, Harry, I – I worry. I don’t want to see anyone take advantage of you or – well, your stature, your… position.’

The words tugged on Harry’s memories, and suddenly it all clicked and he sighed shortly.

“Did my mother send you here to keep me company while you spy on me and ensure I interact as little as possible with any potential ‘breaches’? Aren’t my two bodyguards enough? God, when will the Crown fucking realise that I’m not a child anymore?”

Liam frowned, even though he at least had the decency to look a little bit like remorseful.

‘No, Sir – I mean, Harry, I mean – well, yes, partially? There really _was_ urgency attached to the RSVP, and then there is one other matter we really should discuss, sir.’

Harry rolled his eyes goodnaturedly at Liam’s insistence on calling him sir, but motioned for him to go on.

‘It’s your sister. As you know, she was planning to announce her engagement in the next month,’ Liam started, making him nod.

Of course he knew. He was ecstatic for his sister, obviously, but it would also lead to increased scrutiny towards Harry and his personal life as well as public duties. It was one of the deciding factors when he’d been granted this holiday.

‘However, a story broke a few days ago about your sister’s relationship with Michal, and the increased speculation has led Her Royal Highness to decide to speed up the process. A congratulatory statement is needed, from Your Royal Highness,’ Liam informed him.

He frowned as soon as Liam’s words sunk in. He hated that Gemma was being rushed into something that she’d wanted to announce on her own terms. He was also slightly annoyed that she hadn’t contacted him about it, but then again they’d all been warned against discussing Crown-related business on mobile devices due to security concerns. Still, she could’ve called. It’s not like she couldn’t afford to reach him in Jamaica.

However, he’d also learned that holding grudges against protocol or the firm itself really didn’t do anything except make Harry himself feel worse – so he just nodded as he digested the information.

“Right. When would you need that statement done, Liam?”

‘At the earliest convenience would be wonderful, Harry, sir.’

Which basically meant that it was expected of him to have a statement ready by the end of the day. He’d been looking forward to driving to Port Antonio and check out one of the hidden beaches there, but he guessed that’d have to wait then.

With an un-princely huff, he made his acquiescence known, then motioned for Liam to sit down as he shot him a wolfish grin. “Now, since you’re here, and it would be an unnecessary additional expense to make you fly back on a different flight, why don’t you drop the sirs for now and just call me Harry – and we pretend we’re on a normal, run-of-the-mill lads holiday. Starting with us sparring.”

Liam seemed torn, as he hesitated before replying with a little shrug. ‘If that’s what you want, si- Harry. Of course.’

“Great,” Harry claimed, “I’m sure you brought some type of work-out gear with you. You seem like the kind of man who can’t resist some fitness. Meet you back down here in 10 minutes?”

Still a bit perplexed, Liam just nodded his head, then made his way back towards whichever guest room he’d occupied overnight.

Andy was still regarding Harry with a thoughtful look on his face, to which Harry just raised an eyebrow. The bulky man chuckled at his facial expression, then shook his head as if to signal to just let it go.

‘I guess if His Royal Highness invites someone to join our training session, I’ll just adapt my entire training program,’ he mused.

For a second, Harry was horrified at the idea of having used his privileges to make Andy do something that wasn’t in his job description, but then he caught sight of the grin on his bodyguard’s face and settled back into the sofa.

He was just about to retort something cheeky, when his phone vibrated in his pocket – immediately making him scramble for the device to check if Louis’d texted him back yet.

_Sorry Curly, woke up and didn’t want to overstay my welcome or interfere with your work. Reckon it must’ve been important if someone flew in just for you ;)_

Harry bit his lip in an attempt to stop him self from smiling, as he started composing his reply.

_Unfortunately, turns out you’re right. Still would’ve liked to have breakfast with you_ _☹_ _I’ll be busy today, but maybe we could hang out tomorrow? X_

Perhaps Louis would want to join him on his trip to Port Antonio – visiting a hidden beach was probably much more fun with some company, Harry imagined.

He kept staring at his phone, willing it to send him a notification of a new text. Maybe he’d overdone it with the x? But they’d kissed multiple times, had slept in the same bed – innocently, but that made it feel all the more intimate to Harry, if he was being honest, so surely it wasn’t too desperate or weird to want to hang out again?

Just as he let out a dejected sigh, his phone vibrated again.

_I hope you’re a good cook then, because I can assure you – you don’t want to eat my charred pancakes in the morning. What time should I be at yours then? x_

**Don’t worry, I happen to be _great_ at pancakes. Used to be somewhat of a baker, even. How’s 9 sounds? I’ll bring food! X**

“Is that the bloke from yesterday? He treat you good last night? Paid for dinner?”

His head snapped up at the sound of Andy’s voice. Right. He’d kind of forgotten that he’d been in the room that entire time, had probably seen him stare and smile at his phone screen. When he didn’t immediately respond, Andy raised his eyebrow expectantly – to which Harry quickly nodded.

‘Yeah, he uh – he was nice,’ Harry hesitated. ‘I kind of wanted to hang out with him again tomorrow.’

The way he’d phrased it made his statement sound like a question, as if he was asking Andy for permission. Which – he didn’t _really_ need it, but he also kind of did. Andy and Dave were there to look after his safety, after all. The least he could do was inform them of his plans.

“What’s this kid’s name again?”

‘Louis.’

“No last name you can give me?”

Harry wanted to roll his eyes at the overprotectiveness – he knew exactly what they’d do if they had Louis’ last name; track every single bit of info out there on him. But if Harry wanted to be given an unbiased chance – to not be Google-able, then he wanted to provide Louis with the same courtesy. And as long as he didn’t know his last name, he didn’t have to worry about even being tempted.

‘Nope.’

Andy pursed his lips, but seemed to think better of it and nodded instead. “Have fun then, I’d say. Careful, responsible fun. Today though, it’ll be a different kind of fun. The kind of fun that makes your muscles burn a bit.”

The comment elicited a relieved grin from Harry, and he immediately launched forward – phone forgotten on the sofa, to strap on his boxing gloves.

‘Andy, Louis told me there’s a lot of pickpocketing going on here. I was just wondering if maybe we could also practice some techniques on awareness and proper responses?’

His trainer seemed surprised by the request, but Harry hoped that his years in the palace had trained him well enough to maintain neutral facial features – at least to make Andy refrain from questioning him any further on the matter. If he’d admit what had happened the other day, he knew he could kiss his holiday and any further free reign goodbye.

“Sure, I guess. Actually it’s a good thing we’ve got Liam here too then. He can pose as the assailant.”

‘I can pose as what?’ Liam asked as he came running down the stairs, clad in workout gear and his boxing gloves resting over his shoulder.

“A thief. Now, boys – let’s go outside, start our warm-up.”

Harry fell into step with Liam, knocking into him gently as they made their way outside.

‘Ready to lose?’

His secretary huffed back at him, punching him in the arm as he grinned back.

“I don’t know mate, _are you_?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

It appeared Liam had been right, and Harry had been very, _very_ wrong in assuming Liam would lose. He flinched as his alarm went off, realising right then how sore he was after yesterday’s workout session. Thank God he was planning on not doing anything, except drive to a secluded beach where he and Louis could relax and maybe swim a bit. It’d do wonders for both his mood and his muscles.

He’d already prepared the food he’d wanted to bring and had stocked up on enough water, though he supposed they’d have time to maybe get some fresh fruit or drinks before hitting the road. Harry was surprised he was able to leave the house without running into anyone else – but he figured everyone had been tired from their long day, and it was actually quite nice to not have to deal with prying eyes as he got ready for his unofficial date with Louis.

Which was great, because there was no pressure. At least, that’s what Harry told himself as he psyched himself up on his drive over to the city where Louis was staying. Because sure, it wasn’t a date in name, it was still a one-on-one hang-out and Harry would be lying if he said he didn’t feel the incessant need to keep Louis interested and impress him. It’d been ages since he’d been so instantaneously affected by someone, and he was determined to enjoy their connection for as long as he could – blissfully ignorant of his position back in the UK.

He had to manoeuvre the Jeep a bit as he reached the city centre, what with the small cobblestone alleys that weren’t built for large vehicles.

“Hello stranger, nice ride!” Harry startled and immediately looked up at the house where he’d waited with Louis last time. He hadn’t noticed the balcony when he’d been there earlier that week, but it’s where his eyes found Louis – leaning slightly over the fence, a hand shielding his own eyes from the sun as he regarded Harry’s car.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” Louis added, before disappearing from view, leaving Harry no chance to respond. He smiled to himself, but couldn’t help but wring his hands a bit – he _really_ wanted things to go well.

Zayn stepped out first, backpack slung across his shoulders – which. That was _not_ what they’d agreed upon, had they? He’d only invited Louis. Sure, it wasn’t an _official_ date, but that had been implied, hadn’t it?

‘So, is this car just you overcompensating, or what?’ Zayn commented as he slid past Harry right into the backseat, lifting an eyebrow as if to dare Harry to respond.

Not that Harry had even thought about responding, he was far too baffled by how things were unfolding to even think about a clever retort.

“Don’t listen to Z, he’s just a tad grumpy in the mornings. Hi,” Louis said with a grin as he finally made his way out of the apartment, locking the door behind him before approaching Harry.

His crinkled eyes, tan skin, and cheeky smile made him forget temporarily that he had a lot of questions about the current situation, so instead he just mumbled out ‘hi’ while Louis darted over to press a kiss to his cheek before motioning towards the car.

“I hope you don’t mind, Zayn has some business to attend to and we’ve got real bad WiFi here, so he wants to try out a spot on a different part of the island. I figured we’d drop him off at the nearest town?”

Harry was only slightly distracted by the hand Louis had curled around his arm, so he shook himself out of it and just nodded. ‘Sure, no eh- no problem.’

“Great! So, tell me love, where are we going? I realised this morning that you didn’t say, so I’m ready to be surprised,” Louis said, as he opened the passenger door and slid into the seat, hauling his backpack in after him. Harry kind of wanted to ask what Louis would need to bring, but then again – the lack of instructions from Harry’s side might have spurred him on to pack a number of things just in case.

He realised now that while a surprise trip was surely romantic – ignoring the fact that Zayn was tagging along, apparently - it probably wasn’t very _practical_.

‘I uh, was planning to drive us to Port Antonio? I – well, I read that there’s supposed to be like, a pretty nice hidden beach close to the town, so I figured we might as well go check that out.’

Louis’ head snapped up at that, blue eyes wide and filled with excitement as he looked back at Harry. “You mean Frenchman’s Cove?!”

A surge of disappointment went through Harry, as he realised that perhaps they didn’t get to discover the beauty of the place together. ‘Oh, you’ve been already?’

“No, but heard about it for sure. I’m excited to see it with you! Though you could’ve told me – I almost didn’t bring any swimwear,” Louis teased, to which Zayn harrumphed from the backseat as Harry started up the Jeep again.

‘Some secret beach if everyone’s heard of it. Not very secure. Also Lou-eh, we are literally on a tropical island. Not bringing your swimwear, or wearing swimwear 24/7 is basically a crime. You should know that.’

Louis just rolled his eyes at Zayn’s comments, who seemed content to snuggle into the backseat even further and promptly fell asleep. “Again, just ignore him. How far of a ride is it? We’ll only have to put up with him until we reach Port Antonio then. I don’t think there are any cities nearby or on the way.”

Harry nodded as he kept his eyes on the road. ‘It shouldn’t be too long of a drive. Buff Bay to Port Antonio’s maybe an hour tops?’

“Oh he’ll definitely sleep the whole ride through, then,” Louis grinned, then turned to make himself comfortable. Harry could see him lift his feet out of the corner of his eye, but saw him hesitate, foot hovering mid-air as he caught Harry’s gaze.

‘Go on, I don’t mind – make yourself at home,’ he joked as Louis lowered his feet onto the dashboard gracefully.

He had pretty feet, and Harry couldn’t help but notice the triangle tattoo etched into the skin of his ankle. He envied that. The total autonomy, unapologetic nature that seemed to just ooze out of Louis’ pores, the carefree aura – Harry admired it. He wondered if Louis had always been that way, or if the triangle had once upon a time been a small, but loud declaration of self-love and acceptance. There were so many things he wanted to learn about Louis, he didn’t even know where to start.

“Do you know if the radio works?”

Louis’ hand was already hovering over the sound system, so he just shrugged, and let Louis fidget with the settings until he got the radio on a channel he deemed acceptable – some sort of tropical beat with a lot of guitar and trumpets coming from the speakers. He glanced in the rear-view mirror, only to see Zayn still fast asleep.

“He always does that. Perpetually tired,” Louis commented, then leaned in to switch the station again to Harry’s amusement. So he was _that_ kind of person, flipping through channels all the time, probably ending up listening to his own playlist from his phone.

‘Is it because of work?’

Louis shrugged at Harry’s question, as if to signal that he didn’t really know. It made him realise that he had no clue actually how Louis and Zayn had met and how they’d ended up on Jamaica together – Louis’d never really elaborated on that. “No, suppose not. Been this way for as long as I’ve known him. It’s funny, cause he’s actually got a really sharp mind so I’ve got this theory that his battery runs out earlier because his brain continuously works overtime.”

He kept his eyes on the road as he smiled. ‘Well, if there’s any place to relax, it’d be Jamaica.’

Louis nodded in agreement, before stretching out into his seat. It’s funny how he seemed to take up both so much and so little space at the same time. Harry kind of just wanted to sit and admire what he was like.

 

The trip to Port Antonio didn’t take long at all, and suddenly it was just Louis and Harry in the car. Louis had initially gotten out with Zayn, walked him to an internet café, before giving him a hug and returning to the passenger seat. Harry supposed they worked together, but he wasn’t really sure either. He wanted to ask, but he also felt like maybe he’d missed the opportunity to pry, and he didn’t want it to turn around on himself again.

“Sorry about that, he just kind of invited himself when he found out you had a car and were going to drive me around,” Louis said apologetically as he strapped himself back in.

Harry dismissed the apology, ‘no problem. Just glad we get to spend the day together.’ Louis wiggled his eyebrows at that, then reached out a hand to give his leg a quick squeeze.

“Me too.”

If Harry were being honest, he mostly couldn’t wait to kiss Louis again. He wasn’t quite sure how much Louis told Zayn, and the way in which he’d acted throughout the drive so far hasn’t been all that telling. Then again, they’re not together. Harry didn’t really have any reason to complain about a lack of PDA.

Harry wasn’t expecting Louis to appreciate his humour – not very many people do, but he’d be lying if he said that the genuine giggles that escaped Louis on the drive over to Frenchman’s Cave didn’t make him feel better about the lack of physical contact.

Louis grinned widely as Harry put the car into park, before jumping out of the vehicle with his backpack slung over his shoulder. “Keep up Harold, we’ve got to explore paradise!”

He couldn’t help but smile back as he locked the car, taking his bag full of food and drinks with him. He’d expected the area to be more crowded – it was supposed to be a tourist hotspot - but it was completely cleared out. Well, Harry wouldn’t complain, he certainly didn’t mind being alone with Louis.

Who had already taken off his t-shirt, haphazardly thrown it onto the sand and was wading into the water. And yeah, he looked good – really good.

Apparently so good that it had gotten Harry a little distracted, as he suddenly got broken out of his stare by Louis yelling at him.

“Come on, don’t tell me you can’t swim! The water’s lovely,” he teased, splashing in Harry’s direction.

It spurred him back into action, and he quickly stripped out of his shirt as he tried to pile all of his own and Louis’ stuff together, before jumping into the water to join him.

He was right, the water _was_ lovely. So was the feeling of just being free, having uninterrupted time to muck around and have fun – without any restrictions or watchful eyes. They swam around a bit, spent some time playfighting, but always came together soon enough to exchange some wet kisses – mouths slick from the water.

‘Mhm, you taste good,’ Harry murmured as he leaned back to catch his breath, letting his hand drift up and down the side of Louis’ body.

It earned him a  grin from the other man, who raised his eyebrows. “Like salty seawater, I imagine. Not that great. Don’t even remember if I properly brushed me teeth this morning, if I’m honest,” he tacked on rather sheepishly.

Harry laughed at that, then pressed a kiss to Louis’ temple, getting a taste of salt and also something inherently Louis – spicy and sweet. ‘You’re fine Lou, no complaints.’

“I do have some complaints about you, though,” Louis retorted cheekily, circling Harry’s nipples with his fingers.

‘Hmm, like what?’ Harry asked distractedly as he nosed at Louis’ collarbone, before placing a soft kiss there.

Louis giggled, hand tightly gripping onto Harry’s hair, as if willing him to still in place – allowing Harry to suck a mark into the sensitive skin.

“Like these shorts you’re wearing – ridiculous. Should be illegal,” he muttered as his other hand travelled down to pull at the waistband of his swim shorts, before letting them snap back in place.

Harry smiled smugly, breaking away from Louis’ grasp so he could twirl around. ‘I happen to be very fond of my yellow shorts, they’re my favourites.’

Louis looked legitimately troubled, which made Harry’s smile fall a little. However, before he could say anything about the seemingly sudden shift in Louis’ mood, the blue-eyed man disappeared under water.

When he came up for air again, there was a renewed twinkle in his eyes, and a mischievous expression on his face. ‘Let’s swim further down, I read that there should be this swing set over the water and I want to try it.’

Harry followed along, happy to just indulge Louis and enjoy the feeling of the swirling water cooling his warm skin.

They spent the entire afternoon diving in and out of the water, munching on fruit whenever they settled back on the towel Harry had brought along. It was just – really great. Whenever he was with Louis, the rest of the world just seemed to fade away and leave him be. He didn’t have to worry about being proper,  or whether or not he was doing anything that could be misconstrued, would somehow reflect badly on his country.

“Hey Lou,” Harry said, leaning on his side as he regarded the curve of Louis’ back while he was tanning.

Louis didn’t move an inch at his words, keeping his head buried in his arms as he let out a non-committal noise to assure Harry he was actually listening to him.

Not that Harry was about to say anything important, it’s just that he felt this urge to let Louis know just how much he appreciated him, valued his company – how much he _liked_ him.

“I’m having a great time. With you. So - thank you, for that.”

The sincerity must’ve been evident in the sound of his voice, because suddenly Louis turned and lifted his head out of his arms just so he could smile at Harry, eyes squeezed shut to shield them from the sun.

‘Why are you thanking me, hmm? Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the one who brought me out here,’ Louis started with a grin, then relaxed back into his previous position while he motioned towards the flimsy plastic bag he’d retrieved from Harry’s car earlier. ‘But if you must, you can put some sunscreen on me. Got up too late to do it before you came to whisk me away this morning. Besides, doing your own back is just really difficult, all those hard to reach places – you get it, right?’

Harry definitely got it. He immediately reached over Louis’ body to pull the bottle of lotion out of the bag, and squirted some on his hands before massaging it into Louis’ skin.

Louis’ beautiful golden, sun-kissed, sweaty, salty skin that felt unfairly warm and smooth to the touch.

The moment’s lovely for as long as it lasts, Harry getting to massage a beautiful man in total privacy, the only sounds heard those of exotic birds and the water rolling into the shallow shore. But it’s broken far too quickly - before Harry was even able to tease at Louis’ beautiful bum - by Louis’ phone ringing loudly.

Harry refrained from pouting as Louis sat up and frowned at the display, apologising to Harry before picking up. It wasn’t nice to listen in, Harry knew – but he couldn’t help but be intrigued when he heard Louis give a very formal greeting to whomever was on the other end of the line.

‘Tomlinson speaking.’

Louis glanced over at Harry, but then made to get up – trudging back towards where Harry’d parked the car earlier as he muttered his replies into the phone.

He didn’t particularly mind the view of Louis’ arse as he walked away from him, but it would’ve been nice to spend their time uninterrupted. So far, Harry realised he’d been extremely lucky what with the lack of people recognising him and well – the _overall_ lack of people now that he came to think of it. For a supposed tourist spot, it certainly was deserted at the cove today.

‘Sorry about that, I really hate having my phone out when I’m with you – I want to spend time with you, not on the phone, but it was my boss and they really wouldn’t call me unless it was important, you know?’

Harry shook his head, he knew all about inconvenient phone calls or in his case, inconvenient message deliveries by his personal secretary/friend – which essentially was the same thing. “It’s alright. You were only gone for a few minutes.”

Louis seemed ticked by that response, as he curtly shook his head.

‘No it’s not. A lot can happen in minutes. Holiday is supposed to be relaxation, and it’s not like I have endless amounts of time for relaxation, even though I wish I did. So I want to spend that limited time relaxing with _you_ – not on my bloody phone. ‘s what I’m here for, yeah?’

It was flattering to Harry. Maybe he was used to people dropping everything around them just to accommodate His Royal Highness Prince Harry. But he wasn’t used to people doing that just to accommodate _Harry_.

“Yeah.”

A satisfied smile took over Louis’ face, toes wiggling in the sand as if he couldn’t keep his body still, thrumming with energy that needed to somehow escape.

‘Good. So I was getting a bit hungry, fancy grabbing dinner somewhere? I’d try making you some but I fear I’m not the best cook.’

Harry'sis chest warmed at seeing Louis frown, as if he was bothered by his own inability to cook.

“Don’t we need to drive back to Port Antonio? Pick up your friend?”

Louis shook his head, then bent over to pick up his backpack. ‘Nah, not really. Zayn will find his way back. He always does.’

There wasn’t much Harry could do, but take Louis’ word for it. Besides, it’s not like he’d oppose the opportunity to spend more time alone – rather than have Zayn hanging around, as lovely as he probably was.

‘Do you trust me with your car?’ Louis asked as they neared their parking spot, wiggling his eyebrows daringly.

Harry shrugged in response – he knew that Dave would probably have his head if he told him he’d let someone take the wheel while they were alone, but that was also kind of exactly the reason why he gave Louis his keys and hopped into the passenger’s seat.

Louis manoeuvred the car back onto the dirt roads while Harry fiddled with the radio settings, before sitting back and letting his eyes focus on the way the sunlight seemed to illuminate Louis’ golden skin.

They drove in silence for a bit, which felt surprisingly nice – comfortable, even. It only served to convince Harry more of the fact that him and Louis were incredibly compatible and that he was lucky to have met the other British bloke. “So where are you taking me?”

Louis grinned over at him, then shrugged. ‘It’s gonna be a surprise. Hope you’re good with that.’

Well. Harry was pretty good with that. He just wasn’t really _used_ to that. Everything he did was usually wrapped up in pages of protocol and contingency plans and security details. Surprises weren’t really part of the crown’s dictionary.

So obviously, Harry’s answer was “yes, I love surprises.”

‘Good,’ Louis replied with a satisfied smile playing on his lips, before navigating towards the unknown.

 

The one thing Harry loved about state visits – and to be honest, there wasn’t all that much he enjoyed about all the formalities - was getting to try the local cuisine. He hadn’t really had the chance yet to do so in Jamaica, especially because the trip was supposed to remain a secret, but getting to experience it with Louis seemed great.

“Ever been to Pleasure Cove?” Louis asked with a dangerous glint in his eyes after they’d been driving for a fair bit.

‘Define which pleasure cove we’re talking about,’ he shot back to Louis’ delight, as was clear by the goggle that escaped him.

‘You’re really bad at keeping secrets, aren’t you?’ Harry mused, reminding Louis of the fact that not mere minutes ago he said he wasn’t going to tell Harry in order to keep the surprise.

That seemed to amuse Louis even more. “I haven’t told you where exactly I’m taking you though. Maybe I was just wondering, in general.”

It was a weak retort and they both knew it, so he just smiled back. His eyes flitted down to where Louis’ hand was resting on the stick console. Part of Harry wanted to reach out and touch, but he wasn’t quite sure if such a casual show of intimacy was appropriate for whatever it was they were doing.

On the one hand, Harry desperately needed clarity on their status because it felt like he was riding a wave that would inevitably swallow him whole and spit him out again. On the other hand, he just wanted to give into it, let it consume him for as long as Louis’d let him. It had been a long time since Harry had felt this free and understood, had been so utterly mesmerized by another person.

It almost scared him how easily he was catching feelings for Louis, even if he knew that this – whatever it was – would probably have an expiration date. But he wanted to enjoy this experience of being entirely unconnected to his heritage as a crown prince, without any expectations whatsoever for as long as he could.

He couldn’t give it much more thought, as Louis suddenly turned up a well-hidden driveway and parked the car in front of a little restaurant that was situated right at the edge of the beach. It was absolutely breathtaking. And the best thing was that both the beach and the restaurant was almost entirely deserted save for a couple of locals.

‘It’s beautiful,’ Harry breathed out, reaching out to squeeze Louis’ hand in thanks before slipping out of the car.

Louis led them to the restaurant, one hand placed on Harry’s hip – applying just the right amount of pressure for Harry to feel the burning touch of Louis’ fingers on his skin. Louis let go to point towards something on the horizon for Harry to look at.

“We’re on the wrong side of the island for the sunset, but at least we get to see that cute little dick-shaped cloud,” he said with a mischievous smile.

Harry laughed, then made a move as if to smack Louis’ side for his comment – even though none of the locals seemed all too bothered by it. ‘Louis! I’m trying to eat here.’

The moment the words were out of his mouth, and he saw the challenging glint in Louis’ eyes, he knew what he’d set himself up for.

“Hm. Interesting. Dick actually does wonders for my appetite, you know? Gets me hungry, normally. Guessing you don’t enjoy it as much then.”  

Harry cried from laughter _and_ sexual frustration, then, topped off with some embarrassment as he imagined one of the locals overhearing their conversation. It wasn’t proper, and he couldn’t fully shake what had been ingrained in him since he was young about the importance of keeping up public appearances and etiquette.

As if Louis understood his predicament, he reached out to squeeze Harry’s thigh in some sort of apologetic gesture, then motioned for someone to bring them their freshly grilled fish – true Caribbean style food.

It was almost as delicious as it was to kiss Louis goodnight once he’d dropped Harry off at the complex’ gate. Liam’d probably be totally stressed after finding out just exactly how many rules of protocol, security requirements and codes of conduct Harry had ignored throughout the day.

Yet, he hadn’t ever felt more alive, he thought right before hitting the hay.

 

* * *

 

 

He couldn’t help the smile from lingering on his face, as a happy sigh escaped him while he made his way back inside. They’d just spent an entire afternoon playing football with a bunch of local kids down at the square where he’d first met Louis.

Louis was… lighting in a bottle – a wild spirit. He was the sun personified, but with the way he sparkled and brightened Harry’s life and surroundings, he suspected Louis was made of stardust. He was warm, kind, funny, smart, and so… _normal_. He was everything Harry had ever looked for in another person, even though he had never even known he was looking for it.

He loved it that Louis cared so much for children, got riled up whenever they discussed football and hated losing so much he wasn’t above cheating. Whenever he did end up losing – given that Harry himself also had a hand of cheating if it meant he’d win – he always tried to cover up how disgruntled he was, though it was never an act when he said he was happy Harry had won. His eyes would crinkle, and he’d smile a pointy little grin that looked fond and mischievous – as if he was doing something he shouldn’t all at the same time.

And Harry loved all of that. He also loved that Louis seemed to hate the heat and simultaneously craved it. He’d refuse to wear clothing to bed, but would snuggle up to Harry all the same time because he was ‘a bit chilly’. He didn’t like open car windows, but he did like a window to be open in Harry’s bedroom. Louis took cold showers all the time just to get some reprieve from the pressing heat of Jamaica, but would then proceed to steam up Harry’s entire bathroom when he settled in the bathtub.

He loved that Louis was obviously addicted to his phone, conversing with his family – but would make a very conscious effort to put it away if he was spending time with Harry. He loved that Louis had tried to make Harry dinner, but it had almost resulted in Louis burning down the stove and Zayn intervening to ensure it didn’t come to that, only to have the two of them end up at a local burger joint.

He also missed Louis whenever he wasn’t spending time with him, could feel the urge to text him thrumming in his veins every other second. Even now, having only just returned from spending some time picking out seashells from the beach – all he wanted was to call and hear Louis’ voice again.

“Did you have a good time, Sir?”

A surprised laugh escaped Harry, as he caught sight of Liam sitting by the breakfast bar. ‘I think it’s safe to say I had more than a good time.’

He sat down next to his private secretary, who seemed startled at the sudden proximity, before reaching for a banana that had been ripening on the countertop all morning.

It was quiet for a bit, but he could feel Liam’s gaze resting on him as he munched on his banana.

‘You know it’s rather strange to stare at someone eating a banana, right?’

“Ehm, yes, right, of course,” Liam stammered, and Harry just grinned to himself as he got rid of the banana peel, before settling back onto the bar stool, staring intently at Liam’s flushed face.

‘So,’ he prompted, ‘what is it that’s bothering you then?’

Liam seemed to hesitate for a second, before letting go of the pan he’d been scrubbing clean from his earlier fried omelette. “It’s just – are you absolutely _sure_ you don’t want me to do some research, a background check or anything on Louis?”

The statement immediately got rid of the smile that was still lingering onto Harry’s face, forming into a slight frown instead as he shook his head.

‘No, Liam. I’ve told you before. I don’t want you to go and sniff out his business, and I don’t want you to ask me either. I don’t want it, and I won’t have it, and if I find out you did, well – I won’t be happy, that much is certain. For once in my life, I just want to have some innocent fun with someone and get to know them the way any normal person would, without the crown following me around the entire time.’

It wasn’t the first time his private secretary had brought it up, and it was really starting to get on Harry’s nerves.

‘I know you mean well, but you can’t always control every interaction that I have with other people. I don’t think you realise how much it means to me to have met someone devoid of protocol or ulterior motives. It's... liberating,’ Harry paused, waiting for Liam to acknowledge he’d understood so far, before continuing.

‘I consider you not just my private secretary, but also a close friend, Liam. So I’m asking you – as my friend – to let me live and explore whatever this connection is with Louis at my own pace, with nothing but my own wits to guide me.’

Liam nodded once, looking almost chastised and guilty at Harry’s words. Nevertheless, he shot Harry another concerned glance as he fiddled with his hands.

“Then as a friend, if I may – what if your connection is more than just a holiday romance?”

And – well. Harry hadn’t really given much thought to that prospect. Liam seemed to sense his apprehension, so continued on.

“There is only three days left before we're meant to return to the UK. What if you’re not ready to say goodbye by then?”

Harry hadn’t realised they only _had_ three more days, he’d only been focused on spending as much time as possible with Louis. And he hadn’t really granted himself time to step out of the bubble he’d been so wrapped up in to analyse the depth of his feelings for Louis either.

‘I will be. I’ll have to be,’ he muttered, before excusing himself. He needed to be alone for a bit and do some much needed thinking.

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you think he’s aware of the fact he’s falling in love?” Dave asked his buddy as their gazes followed Harry’s retreating figure until he plopped down on a chair near the poolside, averting his eyes to look at Andy instead.

‘Falling in love? I think he’s already there. He already has. ‘s been a bit of a whirlwind. I knew he’d be the type to just dive in head first,’ Andy replied with a strange mix of fondness and sadness lacing his voice. ‘Hurtled straight past love, right into inescapable heartbreak territory.’

Dave scoffed. “You don’t know that. At least the bloke is British. They might keep in touch. We might become full-time chaperones once we return.”

‘British or not, long distance relationships, secret relationships – it’s a lot of pressure. And we’ve got no clue as to what this bloke Louis wants. I don’t think Harry even knows what he wants himself right now,’ Andy hummed.

“Well, he should figure it out soon. We’ve got a little less than three days before it’s time to leave.”

 

* * *

 

 

 


	4. Four

Harry didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t ever felt so strongly about anyone, but he couldn’t quite admit that to himself yet. Didn’t want to admit what it entailed, and what the consequences would be. He’d only been in Jamaica for about 3 weeks. He’d only spent two of those with Louis. Was it really possible to grow so used, so attached to someone over such a short amount of time?

What he needed was advice from someone he could trust. He’d trust his sister with everything, but she was also the Crown-in-waiting. While he loved her, he didn’t think she’d understand the predicament he’d landed himself in, what with lying about his own identity. He needed someone from outside the royal institution. He needed Niall.

The last time they’d spoken had been prior to his holiday, as he’d originally planned to cut off all contact from the rest of the world for a while. He couldn’t have cared less about that resolution now though, as he pulled up Niall’s details on his phone and started FaceTime.

‘What’s the craic? Thought I wouldn’t hear from ya until next week,’ Niall greeted him, bright smile on his face as always.

His shoulders immediately slackened upon seeing his friend, tension seeping away. ‘How soon is too soon when it comes to falling in love and how do I know I’ve fallen in love?’

He hadn't meant to blurt that out at all, and judging by Niall’s face – neither had he been expecting it.

“Alright, I see now why you’d need to call me. Mate, you just went full in on the whole ‘independent life experiences’ thing, huh?”

Maybe Harry did go a little overboard with it, but it’s not like he could’ve predicted meeting Louis.

‘You know me, Niall. I do love to do things thoroughly,’ he joked to Niall’s delight.

His smile turned into a contemplative one rather quickly, though, before he spoke up again.

“Honestly, Harry, with love you usually just know. I remember having one relationship where it was like lightning had struck me, just _there_ from the beginning. But sometimes love grows over time. I don’t know, but I’d say that you FaceTiming me to ask about it, is pretty telling in and of itself.”

Harry knew he was right, but it also scared him. Because even without the love bit, just dating and being in a relationship – it was all so incredibly complicated and inconvenient. Especially given the fact that Harry only had a few more days to spend with Louis and then his adventure would be over.

They were quiet for a bit, Harry just thinking, Niall observing Harry as he sat there from halfway across the world.

‘We haven’t even slept together, his hands haven’t even touched my cock, but he literally makes me feel so – so _alive_. I just, I don’t know what to do, Niall. I just don’t know. Do I enjoy it for what it is? How are summer romances even supposed to work, normally?’

Niall made a face at the mention of well, the lack of sexual action Harry’d gotten during his holiday, but smiled nonetheless. “First of all, that’s too much information for me. Second of all, a summer romance is only a summer romance if you decide that’s where it ends. It doesn’t sound like you want it to end, though.”

‘He doesn’t even know who I am, though! How am I ever going to try and make it work once I’m back at Kensington when I haven’t even told him about my background,’ Harry whined, feeling the anxiety rise all over again. He realized that it was his own fault, but then again he was finally allowed to be selfish, and this was the only way he knew how to enjoy this… dalliance for what it was, without letting reality ruin it.

Niall shrugged, though a sympathetic smile lingered on his face. “So don’t tell him? If it works out, you can always tell him later down the line. And if he truly cares for you, he’ll probably understand why you did what you did.  It’s not easy being a royal. If you’d want to pursue a relationship long-term, whoever you end up with is going to have to understand that anyways. Better to find out sooner than later, yeah?”

Maybe Niall had a point, Harry concluded after he’d taken some time to process his conversation with his best mate. Still – he was also pretty set on not telling Louis who he really was. He’d grown accustomed to the nickname ‘Teddy’, and how he was allowed to just air his opinions on both controversial and utterly mundane topics without worrying about the consequences or keeping up appearances.

It was liberating, and selfish as it was, he wasn’t ready to lose that yet.

So he didn’t tell Louis anything. Just continued to be Teddy to him throughout the last couple of days, while he let Liam prepare his flight back home, as well as his apartment back home. What with Gemma’s engagement, the use of the Kensington Apartments were to be changed once again. Even though Harry wasn’t looking forward to the increased scrutiny that’d now come with his arrival back in the UK, it would give him a chance to perhaps move a bit further out.

The taste of freedom he’d gotten here in Jamaica had made him very aware of how sheltered and rigorous his life was back home. So he’d tasked Liam with figuring out whether or not it’d be possible to have some sort of hiding place that’d be right in the middle of the bustling, normal London city life. Hopefully, he’d at least have the illusion of leading a somewhat average life to escape in sometimes.

On the other hand, he knew that it’d probably prove to be impossible to go out and about anonymously. Even in a big city like London, people always seemed to recognise him.

So maybe, if he was being entirely honest, there was another reason why he wanted to have an average-looking flat in London. Liam had given him a reproachful look after Harry had made the request, before schooling his face into a perfectly pleasant and neutral nod.  For once in his life, Harry wanted to just be selfish, was that really bad? If he had that apartment, maybe he could invite Louis over and pretend he was normal for just a bit longer, drag out the process of telling Louis who he was a bit more. He just – he wasn’t done yet living the simple, ordinary romance life.

 

Time was running out for Harry to come clean before leaving Jamaica, and Harry already knew he wasn’t going to ruin his holiday romance by telling the truth. Instead, he made sure to spend as much time as possible with Louis.

It was his last day, and he was spending it lying on top of Louis – very much innocently so – on a sunbed next to the private pool. Harry didn’t want to risk anyone spotting them on the beach, no matter how much he’d liked the idea of returning to the place where they’d first connected.

They’d been quietly talking about all the places they’d gone to together, both carefully avoiding the elephant in the room – the future. Still, Harry needed some clarity, needed to know whether it’d be entirely foolish or not to try and pursue a relationship back home as well.

“I just – we've spent so much time together, and I've loved every single minute of it. I don't want it to end,’ he confessed, head nestled onto Louis’ shoulder as he stroked Harry's curls.  It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“We still have today,” Louis murmured, his voice slightly muffled by Harry’s hair.

‘I wish I could stay longer,’ he sighed out in response, to which he felt Louis’ arms tense around him.

“Hm. Well I don't think your secretary would like that very much.”

Harry groaned at the mention of Liam. As much as he loved his friend, he could be incredibly overbearing and had spent much of the day packing Harry’s bags and triple checking if everything was in there. Not that Harry cared. He wouldn’t mind leaving something behind, and having to come back for it. It would provide him with an escape option.

Besides, as long as he couldn’t take Louis with him in his bag, and smuggle him back to his Kensington apartments, the whole going back to England thing was all a futile effort as far as Harry was concerned. ‘Don’t remind me. I'm dreading going back to work.’

“Well. Making sure Britain’s reputation abroad is positive does seem pretty time-sensitive to me, what with Brexit and all. You can’t shy away from your responsibilities there, love.”

The teasing smile and the ‘love’ that was so effortlessly tacked on to Louis’ statement kept Harry from freaking out. Of course, he’d meant to make his lie as low-maintenance as possible, but perhaps it was still a little too close to the truth for him to feel comfortable with those words.

Truthfully, it was probably a sign that Harry needed to be honest with Louis. A sign that Harry was all too happy to ignore for the time being.

‘I suppose so. Tourism waits for no one. When’s your flight back again?’

Louis shot him a knowing look. “Again? I don’t think I ever told you in the first place, did I?”

Harry shrugged guilefully, snuggling back into Louis’ hold.

‘Just answer the question, please.’

“Next week. I’ll be here for one more week, then I’m flying back.”

‘Back where again?’

Louis grinned at Harry’s cheeky question, as he knew full well that Louis hadn’t disclosed that either. Harry didn’t care. Clearly Louis wasn’t that set on not telling him anything. He hoped it meant good things.

“You’re a little shit, aren’t you? Asking all these questions as if you’ve asked before, hoping I will fall for it.”

The twinkle in his eyes was something Harry wanted to capture and carry with him for the rest of his life. It was a rather disconcerting thought to have invading his brain without him giving it express permission to do so.

‘Just being polite, keeping conversation going,’ he grinned back.

It was quiet for a beat, as if Louis needed to consider whether or not he wanted to divulge that information to Harry – no matter how well they’d gotten along, were _currently_ getting along given their position.

It’s what made Harry reconsider as well, even though he could already feel his heart crumble a bit the moment the words left his mouth. ‘You don’t have to tell me, of course. ‘s not like this is, like, more than a holiday romance, right?’

Louis frowned at that, as though that wasn’t what he’d meant to happen either. It all made Harry feel incredibly confused.

He motioned for Harry to sit up, gently pushing him off of his body. It hurt a bit, the physical removal from Louis, but he guessed he’d brought it upon himself. Harry couldn’t help but feel a bit like a chastised child, even though Louis hadn’t even said anything yet.

“Right. Well. Clearly you _want_ it to be more, or you wouldn’t have asked me that in the first place. Yes?”

Harry sighed, not immediately responding to Louis.

He just wasn’t sure what the right answer would be, what would prevent Louis from slipping through his fingers.

Louis nudged him, and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else, but was then interrupted by his phone ringing.

He frowned as he saw the caller ID, but made to pick up anyways. He mouthed an apology to Harry, motioned for him to think about what he’d said, before turning away from him.

 

Harry wasn’t normally in the business of eavesdropping, and he truly hadn’t even tried or anything.

It was just that the garden, private as it was location-wise, carried sound a bit _too_ well.

“What’s up?” He sounded frustrated, but Harry wasn’t sure whether that was still a lingering emotion from their cut-off conversation, or caused by the fact Zayn had called.

“Are you serious?... No I – Zayn, of course not. That’s preposterous … I realise that, but I can’t come back now. I’m at his house … I have it under control … Trust me. When have I ever given you any reason to doubt me? I’m not leaving. We’ll debrief tonight.”

Harry tried to look as inconspicuous as possible when Louis returned, but the terse look on the other man’s face probably meant he’d failed at that.

‘I wasn’t trying to listen in, or anything, I promise.’

Louis’ face lost some of its tension, but he still seemed ticked off by the whole phone call. One corner of his lips curled up a bit as he regarded Harry, and he felt himself get all warm inside at being the one responsible for that small smile .

“Hm. You were just hoping for it to distract me enough from the topic at hand. Which is – what do you want from me, Ed?”

He remained quiet, not sure what it was Louis was expecting him to say. ‘I just –’

Louis held up a hand, brows furrowed together. “Please don’t say anything you don’t mean, okay?”

Harry nodded. The thing was that despite his talk with Niall, he still felt hesitant. He got that honesty was the best policy, at least as far as his feelings were concerned. So he just started talking and hoped that the right words would come out.

‘You make my heart skip. Like – I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way. And I – it drives me insane feeling like that, because I feel like maybe I’ve fallen in love and it’s pathetic that I don’t even know for sure, because I’ve never felt that way about anyone ever before.’

He didn’t quite know what he expected exactly in return, but it definitely wasn’t seeing the almost frightened look on Louis’ face.

“You can’t – you say you don’t know, right? You’d know if you were in love with me. Please don’t say you love me,” Louis rambled, sounding almost hysterical as he paced up and down in front of the chaise longue Harry was still sitting on.

Harry frowned.

He was used to seeing Louis in control, to always knowing what’s going on and having an answer to everything. Seeing him freak out just because Harry confessed his feelings, after they’d been spending all this time together, had been intimate – even though they hadn’t had sex – seemed very out of character for him. It was odd, but it did nothing to change his mind.

Instead, it just made him frustrated. Because it hurt, hearing Louis say that. Which could only mean thing, he definitely did love Louis, or he wouldn’t have felt the sting of disappointment settling like a knife in his heart.

‘Why? Why can’t I say that I’m in love with you? Don’t act like that’s so impossible!’

Louis froze up at that, shoulders sagging. He was so bloody confusing, and Harry was so very much in love with him. What an unfortunate moment to fully realize the extent of his feelings. Of course he would do so in the middle of an argument, just to be petty.

“You shouldn’t say those words so lightly. We’ve only known each other for two weeks!” Louis all but shrieked, still looking like a deer caught in headlights.

As much as Harry wanted to comfort Louis and wipe the surprise and fear right off his face, the anger was winning out. Because Louis deciding what Harry could or couldn’t feel was way too reminiscent of how his entire life was decided upon by others too.

‘You don’t get to tell me what to do. How’s this? I love you, I love you, I love you! Sorry for the inconvenience, but turns out that I do. I’m not asking you to say it back, I wasn’t even planning on saying those words but I am saying them now, despite you being a pest at the moment. I just wanted to make sure you knew how much these past two weeks meant to me. And I _know_ they meant a lot to you too.’

Louis was quiet, body swaying as if he was subconsciously trying to move closer to Harry even though he wasn’t sure that it would be wise.

Harry decided to just continue, now that he was on a roll anyways.

‘This definitely isn’t how I envisioned this last day going, but I just - you can’t tell me you don’t feel _anything_ for me.’

He knew he was starting to sound a little desperate, a little like he was pleading or begging Louis to acknowledge some sort of feelings. And he wasn’t sure whether it was the right approach – given Louis’ caged animal-like behaviour, but he also didn’t want to lie any more than necessary.

“I’m sooo not in control,” Louis muttered to himself, hand raking through his hair as he tried very hard to avoid Harry’s gaze.

‘I don’t want to scare you away, but I just don’t want to leave this behind. Didn’t want to go without telling you everything, how much this has meant to me,’ Harry added ruefully.

He was starting to accept that despite his best efforts, his first proper actual love would end in unrequited heartbreak.

“ _Jesus,_ can you just – _Ed_ , you don’t – please, I’m just – this is a bit much and not at all how this was supposed to go.”

He rolled his eyes at Louis’ plea, ignoring the small voice scratching at his conscience, telling him to actually confess the truth about his name. He told himself there was no need to discuss any of that if Louis was intent on walking away from whatever it was that had been going on between them

‘Yeah, well, we can’t all have the attitude of “what happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica”, well can we?’

Perhaps he had spoken with a little more snark than Louis deserved, especially because he knew that feelings couldn’t be forced.

It’s just – Harry was _convinced_ that Louis felt more for him than he was letting on. There was still some stubborn flicker of hope lingering in his heart and it wasn’t giving up without a fight.  

At least the snarky, sharp tone of his words managed to get Louis to look at him again.

“You cannot blame me for going into this, thinking it’d be nothing but some fun on holiday. That was all it was _supposed_ to be.”

 

For the first time, Harry could hear a waver in Louis’ tone. As if he was trying to convince himself, rather than Harry about what it was that they’d been doing exactly.

‘And I’m telling you now, that I want it to be more. Is that so wrong?’

Louis let out a snort, then shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t have an answer to that.

‘All I’m asking you is to just – not forget about me. And that I’d like to meet up once you’re back in the UK. That’s all. Forget about everything else I said before. You asked me what I wanted from you? That’s what I want. I want to see you again. When we’re both back in England. That’s – that’s all I want.’

Harry hoped that his words would convince Louis. But he hadn’t sounded quite as calm, confident and imploring as he’d hoped, voice slowly trailing off at the end of his request as he’d run out of steam.

He just hoped it was enough.

Harry almost didn’t dare look at Louis, but the need to see what was going through Louis’ mind was bigger than the urge to hide away in fear of rejection.

The problem was that Louis had a great poker face, and so all Harry could detect was the slight hint of panic that still lingered in his blue eyes, as if he was weighing his options. But then Louis suddenly shook his head, and Harry felt suspended in air for a second as if he was just free-falling down, down down – until Louis pulled out the parachute and wrapped his arms around his waist instead.

“Why are you so … extraordinary?” He heard Louis say, voice muffled by the fact he was pressing his face into Harry’s shoulder.

He almost made a joke about how he was extraordin-harry, but then remembered how Louis still thought of him as Ed. Besides, Louis had already pulled back and had started talking again.

“I’m sorry I freaked out, but – you can’t say those things so lightly, Teddy. I can’t - won’t say it back. Two weeks isn’t enough. Could you,” Louis swallowed audibly as he looked away, then pointed his piercing blue eyes straight at Harry again. “Could you promise me that you won’t tell me that again, at least until we’ve hung out back in London?”

Harry hesitated. ‘Can we still text and talk in between?’

A smile started to creep in, he could tell by the way Louis’ eyes started to sparkle as he pursed his lips.

“You drive a hard bargain, but I suppose that’s acceptable.”

Harry couldn’t help but feel pleased as he regarded Louis, wondering how they’d fit together in London.

He couldn’t wait to figure it all out together.  

‘Good,’ Harry quipped.

“Very good.”

‘Wonderful.’

Louis quirked an eyebrow, “fantastic.”

Harry has spent enough time with Louis to know that he was competitive as hell, and that there was no ending this cycle of one-upping each other until he’d give up. He guessed that for once he could forego his own need to win, and let Louis have this. He’d gotten what he wanted anyways – a guarantee from Louis that he’d see him again in London.

And Harry trusted Louis’ word.

 

Just like that, the tension between them had seemingly disappeared. Harry resumed his position on the lounge bed, whereas Louis had a swim in the pool. Of course that ended in Louis draping himself all over a non-assuming Harry, dripping cold water all over him.

All Harry could do was scream in surprise, then laugh, as he threatened to throw Louis right back into the pool. They’d spent some more time wrapped up in each other, enjoying the sweltering heat for the last couple of moments they’d have together, before taking turns in the outdoor shower.

He really wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Not to Louis. Not to his newfound sense of freedom, peace and anonymity.

But the moment he saw Andy and Dave approach, he knew it was time. Liam had already packed all of Harry’s and his own belongings, and was holding a Vans backpack that undoubtedly was Louis’.

The blue-eyed man quickly ran over to snatch it out of Liam’s hands, making Harry chuckle. Who knew Louis would be so attached to an old and battered Vans backpack?

 

In the presence of Harry’s bodyguards - that Louis blessedly just seemed to accept as normal companions for a business trip - and Liam, their parting suddenly turned stilted and slightly awkward.

A bit wrong-footed, Louis waved as he took a few steps backwards. “I’ll just – I’ll go now.”

‘No,’ Harry blurted out abruptly. He could see Liam make an aborted move to speak, as if wanting to object but thinking better of it in the end. ‘Don’t go. We can drop you off. That’s not a problem, right?’ 

Sometimes it was pretty convenient being a bratty royal. He could imagine perfectly well how Liam was probably bursting at the seams from anger at throwing yet another wrench in his immaculate schedule, but had to keep it together in his company.

Andy and Dave didn’t seem too bothered, though they kept throwing intimidating glances over at Louis. Funnily enough, Louis didn’t really appear to be all that affected by them, even if he did ask Harry if he was sure about his offer. He seemed more concerned with Liam, eyes focusing on the flaming red cheeks that his secretary was sporting.

“I really don’t mind walking all the way back. We did that once before, remember?” 

Harry did remember – even though he was really fucking stoned at the time. He smiled at that memory, then nodded.

‘I do. But it’s really fine. Don’t be silly or stubborn, just let me drop you off.’

Louis huffed at that, but he was coming closer again, which Harry took as a good sign.

“Your people will drop me off, you mean. You really are a posh boy. Didn’t realise tourism firms could shell out on business trips like this. Must be very good at what you do.”

Harry just grinned uncomfortably, then gave Louis a little shove towards the car. Andy shot him a look, while Dave just snorted before climbing into the driver’s seat.

It was a little bit crowded, and not all that comfortable or relaxed, what with two bodyguards in the same vehicle, plus Liam riding shotgun. Still, holding onto Louis’ hand for as long as he possibly could was all he could’ve asked for in that moment.

 

They didn’t get to enjoy it for long – the car ride just a little over an hour.

“So. This is really goodbye then,” Louis started as he climbed out, Harry right behind him.

He looked up for a second, at the window he’d seen Louis lean out of a dozen of times to greet Harry whenever he’d come by to pick him up.

‘Not goodbye. See you later. In London, yeah?’

Louis smiled in return, then bit his lip as he stroked Harry’s cheek, before settling his hand at the nape of Harry’s neck.

“About earlier,” he trailed off, and Harry was about to tell him things were fine, when Louis continued speaking.

“I just don’t want you to leave thinking I don’t care, okay? Cause, I do. I just – there’s a lot we don’t know about each other, and it makes it impossible for me to act on feelings that might not even be there? Does that make sense? Sorry if I don’t and just made things worse.”

An awkward laugh escaped Louis’ lips. It was adorable, the way he didn’t even seem to realise how he was pouting at his own frustration and how that made him look even more attractive.

So Harry did what any other man would’ve done in that situation, kiss that pout right off of Louis' lips.

‘Stop. You do make sense, and it’s fine. I get it. And all I want is for this to not end now. So you don’t need to feel bad about anything, when we’re going to see each other again in London in a week.’

“And text in between,” Louis supplied.

Harry’s heart felt like it could burst, as he grinned back, repeating back Louis’ words before hearing Liam cough behind him.

He rolled his eyes at Louis, who just smiled softly, then turned back and motioned for Liam to speak. It wasn’t as if Harry didn’t know that he was delaying their carefully crafted itinerary, but there must be some perks that come with flying private? They’d just fly out a tad later than planned. It’d be fine.

For now, he took his time with giving Louis another kiss.

He was going to miss that. Miss him.  

 

* * *

 

 

And just like that, Harry was seated on a private plane, flying away from his moment of freedom, and closer back to solitary life.

He just hoped that Louis would keep his promise, and keep in touch. Because maybe having someone to just talk to in between all the official business would be a way for Harry to keep himself sane within his golden cage. Maybe Louis could keep things light. Even though he felt like he had a lot to prove.

He was fairly sure that he was falling in love with him, he just needed Louis to do the same. There were definitely feelings on Louis’ part, he was sure of that. But how could he make those feelings grow and blossom into full-blown love?

He had a week in which he could figure out how to best woo Louis once he arrived back in England. Maybe flowers? Or was that too clichéd? Louis seemed like the type to like flowers, though.

He looked over at Liam. “Li? Do you know anything about flowers, perhaps?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Andy smirked, exchanging a knowing glance with Dave. ‘If flowers are involved, you know it’s getting serious.’

“We’ll have to wait and see what happens in London. ‘M proud of him for putting himself out there, you know?” Dave said gruffly, arms crossed across his chest as he regarded the Prince’s sleeping figure.

Andy followed his gaze, and nodded. ‘Yeah. Could still break his heart. What’d you think of the kid?’

He’d wondered about him. It was rather strange and almost unimaginable there was any British citizen out there who’d have no clue whatsoever as to the appearance of the most eligible bachelor royal.

Besides, not that he wanted to toot his own horn, but it was even more unnerving how the kid had seemed entirely unimpressed by the two of them.

“Seems alright. Respectful of His Royal Highness, but cheeky. Wasn’t too nervous around us. It bugs me that we don’t know more about him, though.”

He paused for a second, then inclined his head towards Andy.

“Then again, I suppose it’s healthy for our Prince to have some secrets he can keep to himself for once.”

Andy raised his eyebrows at that.

Maybe. He wasn’t so sure.

Secrets usually ended in nothing but misery.

Then again, he quite liked seeing his boss so happy. Hopefully it’d turn all turn out alright.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Five

**10 days later, London, UK**

 

Harry frowned at the message his mother had gotten delivered to him. When he looked up at Liam’s face, his secretary for once seemed to have mastered the art of a blank expression – he wasn’t giving anything away.

Something felt off. And that paired with the unusual radio silence of Louis made him irritated. Louis had arrived in London three days ago, and while Harry hadn’t been able to meet up yet, they’d been at touch every day since. Even if it was just a good morning and good night. Today, his good morning and sunshine emoji had gone unanswered. He’d already checked five times.

So no, Harry really wasn’t in the mood for any audiences with the Queen. Especially because every time she had a message hand-delivered by Liam, it wasn’t for a familial moment – she wasn’t asking her son to come see her; she was asking HRH Prince Harry to come see her.

‘Alright, well, did you get a car ready, then?’ He prompted Liam into action, who immediately nodded and guided the way to the vehicle that was indeed already waiting for him.

The ride to Buckingham Palace was spent in utter silence, and Harry was sure that Liam could feel the tension roll off of him as they entered the premises.

He wasn’t even really paying attention to anything happening around them, just following Liam and the Master of Household as they were guided towards whatever room his mother had decided upon – that would tell him all about what to expect from the audience.

If they were going to go to the North Wing, at least he knew he’d be close to his mother’s private rooms and it wouldn’t be serious. If they were led to the West Wing, to the 1844 or 1855 room, Harry had a lot more reason to be more nervous.

He frowned, as he caught sight of Air Vice-Marshall Winston walking at a respectable distance in front of them with someone next to him that looked rather familiar to him. While it was easy to recognise the Defence Services Secretary, he wasn’t all that versed in all surrounding defence and security personnel, so he shrugged it off and instead focused back on tracing the route.

Harry braced himself as they took a turn to the left, entering the West Wing, shooting a worried look over at Liam, who started to look uncomfortable as well.

“Did you know anything about this?” He hissed in his direction, though he knew that there was barely any time or place for Liam to explain in the hallways of Buckingham – surrounded by a million and one other people milling about. Moreover, it was clear by Liam’s face that he wasn’t as clued in as was the norm for his private secretary. Harry still suspected he probably knew the overall topic of the audience, but had no further intel and therefore probably deemed it inappropriate to share.

So he kept his gaze firmly trained on his private secretary, who caved within mere moments. Liam furrowed his brows together in defeat as he slowed his pace slightly so they had a sliver of privacy. ‘From what I understood, Sir, this meeting is about the public disclosure of… private relations and resilience.’

“Resilience?” Harry repeated questioningly, and was about to ask for more information, when he was stopped by another staff member, indicating they had to wait a moment for the Queen to receive them.

He mentally braced himself for the meeting, though he couldn’t help but let his mind drift off to all sorts of scenarios that would require his ‘resilience’ towards the public’s knowledge of his relationships. Harry reckoned any resilience had been necessary when he first came out, or was outed really – there was no need for it now.

Unless.

Unless someone had found out about Louis. Or worse, Louis had found out about him. Or the worst, Louis had found out about him _and_ had gone to the press himself.

His stomach was in knots as the doors were opened for him. He had to swallow a few times to try and clear his throat from the lump that had been starting to form there, before walking into the room to face his mother.

‘His Royal Highness, Prince Harry, your Majesty,’ he was announced as he stepped forward, taking in the company of his mother.

He immediately noted that she wasn’t alone. Christopher was still there, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. As the Queen’s private secretary, and having served four monarchs, Harry saw him as part of the furniture. Scary furniture, mind you, but still – he was always somehow in the know, advising his mother every step of the way. However, in his short moment of pessimism, he’d missed the fact that the Defence Services Secretary was still standing at ease in the corner of the room. It made him uneasy – surely there was nothing his mother wanted to address that’d require him to be present?

“Hello, darling. Please, take a seat,” his mother requested upon him greeting her properly. She looked beautiful, as usual, but also regal. She looked like the Queen, and not his mother – and that unnerved him.

“I’ve asked you here, because something’s come to my attention that is of concern to you _and_ me. Recently, I granted you some time away from your obligations, in the form of a short stay on Jamaica. As we discussed prior to your leave, you are at an age now that certain other duties are expected of you, as part of the Royal Family. Duties that would be much more rewarding, and fulfilling  if you were to have a spouse. It would also alleviate pressure off of you.” 

Harry rolled his eyes internally, as he was quite certain his mother was too while speaking those words. She’d made it clear to him that while as a mother, she didn’t expect him to settle for anything less than love, as Queen – she expected him to do what’s right by the Crown. And there were skewed expectations. As first gay royal, they needed him to find a squeaky clean partner, and to never step out of line. To show that there wasn’t anything wrong, or that he was somehow less than, he needed to go above and beyond in every aspect. It wasn’t fair, but his private life belonged to the government, and the government was – in many ways – still incredibly conservative.

While she’d halted her speaking, Harry didn’t dare interrupt the deliberate silence she’d let descend upon the room. If she’d wanted him to respond, she would’ve addressed him.

“Now. As you know, one cannot ever take their duty lightly when it comes to representing the monarchy, our country. Your relationship must never undermine this. Your duty must always come before your heart, as tough as that may be. One must never endanger the Crown. One most always consider their safety as a high security risk. And so one thought it best to see how well equipped you are when it comes to this delicate topic in practice.”

A weird, tight knot started to form in Harry’s stomach. He wasn’t quite sure what his mother meant, but the way in which she was frowning, the fact the Defense Services Secretary was still here – none of it meant good things.

“I’ve just gotten back the report, and there are some things we consider important enough to discuss.”

Harry was pretty sure that there were deep frown lines etched into his forehead by now. How had they possibly already determined his commitment to the monarchy? And did it even really matter when he was the spare one anyways?

A door opened then, and Harry immediately turned to see who could possibly be allowed to enter the room when they were apparently about to discuss Harry’s personal relationships in a professional setting – something he was not looking forward to at all.

Immediately, a complicated mix of emotions surged through his body. First there was surprise at suddenly coming face to face with none other than Louis. Then relief and excitement, at having Louis so close again all of a sudden. Then there was irritation at him not having answered his phone. Followed by curiosity, and a distinct sense of dread.

Because this wasn’t right. Something was incredibly off, what with the way Louis had been marched in as if he was somehow part of this conversation. They couldn’t have found out – there was no way they had found out about the two of them, unless … unless any of his previous fears had come true. But surely then Liam would’ve told him, and surely the way in which Louis had now taken a stand next to the secretaries seemed … odd. Then again, he was oddly enough wearing a uniform. What made it even more eerie, was the fact that his eyes weren’t shining happily back at Harry, instead he seemed intent on ignoring Harry’s presence as he focused on the Queen, back ramrod straight.

‘What is Louis doing here?’ He asked warily at the room at large. Harry wasn’t even dignified with a response.

Instead, his mother walked forward and nodded at Louis in acknowledgment. It was freaking Harry out, but he knew that she had heard him clearly and had chosen to ignore his question for a reason. The only clues he could try and collect, was by looking at the facial expressions of the staff in the room.

Liam looked – chastised, surprised, and guilty all at the same time. Winston wasn’t looking at anyone in particular, just staring off into the distance. He wondered if that was a difficult skill to learn in the military, but he didn’t dare ask. Mister Christopher almost looked gleeful, which was highly unnerving.

“Captain Tomlinson, thank you ever so much for your service.”

Service?

Harry felt ill as a sense of realization started to wash over him. Surely he couldn’t - his mother wouldn’t. Or would she?

His mother nodded at Mister Christopher, who eagerly started speaking on her behalf.

“His Royal Highness did well in not giving any classified information away, despite forming a connection. However, in such a short amount of time, he did put a lot of trust and blind faith into a mere stranger. He compromised his own compound and location, by inviting Captain Tomlinson into his holiday home so easily. He eschewed his security detail in favour of going on uncleared car rides, and did not inform them who he was spending his time with.”

He wasn’t even listening anymore as he kept on listing all offenses he’d apparently committed during what he’d perceived as a holiday.

Harry almost snorted at his own naivete, of course he hadn’t just been awarded a no-strings attached holiday. He should’ve known going into it that it would never be without purpose.

All he could do was tell himself he was not going to cry. His heart was slowly breaking as he started to understand that whatever he’d thought was happening between him and Louis had been nothing but part of some vile, vulgar _test_ of his loyalty and his smarts. If he’d follow his dick or his duty.

It disgusted him. He hadn’t dared to look at Louis, afraid of what he might find, but he couldn’t help himself as he heard Louis speaking up all of a sudden.

Harry almost wanted to laugh, at how incredibly _Louis_ it was to just interrupt someone who was speaking on behalf of a monarch. Mister Christopher was probably seething with anger at the clear break in protocol, but Harry couldn’t care less about that.

Despite everything he’d just begun to understand, he’d still missed Louis’ voice. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t still harbouring some hope that this was all some sick joke, that Louis had become embroiled in it all without meaning to.

‘Your Highness, if I may, the security measures surrounding the compound really weren’t all that much to write home about. Fairly easy to break through and get away undetected. Even with nothing but a Swiss pocket knife.”

It was as if the words had flicked a switch in Harry’s brain, his heart sinking as he realized the implication of what Louis had just said so clinically. He’d wanted to place all blame on the palace and the Household and his mother – but not Louis. Maybe he’d gotten caught up in it, and had been asked to report because of his occupation. But this – this confirmed Harry’s worst fears.

“Wait – you, you were a part of all this, and you _knew_?!”

The man opened his mouth to speak, but Harry didn’t even let him speak, immediately interrupting again. “You knew who I was the entire time! Referred to me as Ed, asked me all these questions you already knew the answers to!”

Louis shrugged stiffly at the accusations, and it was such a stark reminder as to the circumstances they were in, that Harry’s mind started reeling even further, all consequences slowly registering in his brain.

“So, all this time you spent with me, when you came up to me at that bench, you knew who I was? In fact, that’s the sole reason you came up to me at all? Did my wallet even really get stolen? Or was it just a ploy to get my attention? To get close to me? Like you were asked to do? Not because you wanted to?”

He was angry now, and he wanted to hold onto that feeling, because he was scared of what would happen once the hurt settled in. He would not allow himself to crumble, wouldn’t let Louis see how much it hurt. How much he’d really meant all he’d said to him before, and how he felt like his world was falling apart, now that it seemed everything had been based on lies.

‘It’s my job,’ Louis whispered helplessly, eyes downcast as if talking to a monarch.

And suddenly it dawned on Harry that he was. Louis wasn’t here to talk to Harry. He was here because he’d been summoned by Her Majesty the Queen, and he was speaking only because he’d been addressed by His Royal Highness Prince Harry.

As much as Harry wanted to hurl questions at him, call him hurtful names, and spend minutes in agony hearing Louis’ response to it all – he _was_ a royal, and they weren’t the only two people in the room. There was no privacy.

“I see. I would then correctly assume from all this, that seducing me, making me fall for you was only part of your _job_. Surely you’d be glad to know you more than achieved your goal,” he said coldly, before turning back to Liam, avoiding his mother and the Air Vice Marshal.

“I’ll take my leave now. Niall is waiting for me at the stables. We’ll be riding all afternoon. I propose we discuss my ‘failure’ as you called it earlier if I heard correctly, at a later date Mr. Christopher.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t wait for his mother to excuse him. He hated her, he hated Mr. Christopher, he hated Louis Tomlinson. Most of all, he hated himself for falling for all of it.

How could he have been such a fool?

Angrily, he brought up his shirtsleeve to rub away the tears that had started to leak down his face. Liam quietly offered him a tissue as he hurried alongside Harry towards the stables. He hadn’t actually meant to meet Niall for a riding session at all, but he’d needed an acceptable excuse to leave as soon as possible. Maybe riding by himself would make him feel a little less broken, a little less shattered, a little less humiliated.

“I’m such a pathetic, fucking fool – aren't I? Just tell me, Liam. Did you know about this too?” He halted abruptly in the middle of a hallway. His cheeks were still flushed, and he bit his lip as he stared at Liam inquisitively, trying to decipher whether or not he was being lied to – again. Clearly he needed to work on that skill.

“No! I promise, sir, Harry, I didn’t know anything,” he paused, then stretched out his arms as if asking permission to hug his boss. Maybe Liam really was Harry’s only ally in this stupid palace.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he embraced Harry, but all that did was make him cry harder.

How terribly un-royal of him. He couldn’t care less, though.

Miraculously, the walk towards the stables had gone by without any further breakdowns in the middle of a hallway. Liam asked Harry if he was sure he wanted to be alone, and upon Harry’s insistence went to fetch lunch.

Relieved, Harry started going through the motions of saddling up his favourite horse – Broccoli. The tasks helped calm his racing heart a little bit, the well-practiced almost mechanical way in which he got her situated was perfectly mind-numbing.

‘I really thought Mother had allowed me to have some time to myself, but I should’ve known better, shouldn’t I?’ He murmured in her ear.

She sniffled in response, and he let out a wet laugh at that. How sad that all the comfort and understanding he got was from a horse. And how terrible that despite everything, he still wanted to have Louis hug him and tell him he loved him.

“Hi.”

The voice startled him, and Harry immediately whipped his head around, only to find his sister giving him a rueful smile.

Within seconds, he was in her arms. “Oh Haz, I’m so sorry,” she breathed out against his tear-stained cheeks.

They sat down on a bale of hay, Gemma methodically carding her fingers through Harry’s hair as he let him sob into her shoulder.

It took a while for him to fully calm down, as they sat there in silence – Broccoli standing off to the side in her paddock, ears turned so she could hear what was going on.

‘I just don’t understand _why_ , it’s so cruel.’

Gemma shrugged at that, gently lifting Harry’s head away from her shoulder so she could look at him properly.

“I’m sure we both know who came up with the idea,” she paused as she shot Harry a meaningful look.

‘Christopher,’ Harry affirmed. He hated the old man, and he hated how his mother listened to him as if he had sole authority over how the Crown was best to be handled. So what he’d served monarchs before his mother.

She _was_ the Crown. She could’ve said no.

But she hadn’t. And that hurt.

‘Do you think I’m naïve?’

He couldn’t help but wonder, if his mom really had so little faith in him that she’d thought he needed this. Or well, that the _firm_ needed this from him.

Gemma looked at him aghast, shaking her head firmly. “No. You are – you’re not naïve. You are brave and defiant. Wearing your heart on your sleeve, in spite of what you’ve been taught and how we grew up. It’s not a weakness to let people in, Harry. You should be allowed to live, and love, and learn – just like any other human being.”

Maybe she was right.

But as twisted as it was, he did understand his mother’s concern. ‘We’re not, though. Are we? We’re not like any other human being. We’ve got duties, obligations, responsibilities, protocols, etiquette and secrets to keep, Gemma.’

“Perhaps. But that shouldn’t come at the cost of our humanity. I realise that I’m lucky, that I fell in love with Michal, someone who’s an acceptable match and grew up in our world. There has never been any reason to put you through this, to treat you like a toy, just to see if your heart and head would measure up to someone sent specifically to get to you.”

Harry was quiet for a while, as he let Gemma’s words sink in. It was cruel, but he figured that maybe none of them had foreseen that he’d truly fall for this person. That it’d go beyond a flirtation. It made him wonder what Louis’ intentions were.

Had he gotten a primer about everything Harry loved and just, moulded himself to fit his type?

But then why had they also disagreed on so many things? Louis hadn’t been afraid to express his own opinion – or at least, that’s what Harry had assumed.

And why had they continued to text? Why had they spent so much time together, more than necessary?

Had Louis just wanted to see how far he could push him? How much it would take for him to spill some secret? Was Harry supposed to be happy and proud of himself, knowing that he hadn’t? Was he supposed to live his life without ever trusting a person he’d grown to love?

All his questions came back to one and the same thing.

Love.

And as much as he hated it, the feeling still hadn’t waned.

It just … hurt, now. Whereas his skin had felt like it was on fire every time he thought of Louis, as if fireworks were going off all around him, now it just felt like it was burning him alive - painfully so. 

‘I fell in love, you know? But it feels like the most beautiful thing that happened was nothing but a lie, something I had no control over. Something that was orchestrated _for_ me. ’

Gemma gave him a sorrowful look, “I’m really sorry Harry. Are you sure that it was completely one-sided, though?”

Harry huffed.

He could hear the tentative, careful tone she’d used. He wasn’t sure whether she was just trying to give him hope because she truly believed it, or because she wanted him to feel less bad about it all.

‘I doubt it was mutual. We never even slept together. Fuck, I feel like such a daft idiot.’

“Harry – I wasn’t there in the room and obviously didn’t witness the two of you together, but Liam did. He filled me in before I came to find you here, and from what he told me – maybe it’d help hearing Louis’ side in all this too?”

Abruptly, he sat up straight, disentangling himself from Gemma’s arms.

‘Are you suggesting I subject myself to hearing him tell me I was nothing but a ‘job’ to him? I thought you’d be on my side in all of this! Why do people keep discussing things behind my back?!’

Gemma opened her mouth to reply, but Harry didn’t want to hear it anymore.

All he wanted was to be alone and feel sorry for himself, and get his mind to stop fucking coming back to Louis and the way he'd looked when he'd stuttered on about it having been his job. So he held up his hand in an effort to keep his sister from talking, then re-entered the paddock where Broccoli had been patiently waiting for him.

The cap he’d brought in was lying abandoned to the side. He quickly scooped it up, fastened it, before mounting his horse. Broccoli let out a neigh in displeasure, clearly not used to Harry’s rushed and erratic behaviour.

He knew he had to calm himself if he wanted to be able to enjoy the ride, but he also just wanted to gallop away from everyone and everything that had left him so devastated.

Riding his horse at least allowed him to escape his anxious thoughts, the focus it required keeping him from examining every little piece of his heart that had gone missing or had been trampled on in just under an hour.

Harry led Broccoli out of the stable and onto the Palace Gardens.

It probably wasn’t safe, sane, or smart – but for a wild minute or so, Harry felt free and untouchable.

As long as he could get away with escaping the Palace, he could pretend he was not heartbroken.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhoh! Did you see that one coming?? 
> 
> The final will be posted on Saturday- I've got a work trip abroad so i can't fix the betaed version until then!
> 
> Also my friend has a horse called Broccoli for real.


	6. Six

His temporary bout of freedom didn’t last long. Not that Harry had expected any differently. The Palace Gardens weren’t that big, and he’d counted on being escorted back within an hour at most.

Apparently he was allowed somewhat of a reprieve, because no one came to fetch him until he spotted a guard coming his way almost two hours later.

Harry sighed and motioned that he was turning around, leading Broccoli back towards the stables.

He dismissed George, one of the stable boys who was fairly new and clearly didn’t know that Harry actually _liked_ the whole process of cleaning up after his horses. It was mind-numbing – just what Harry needed – and it helped strengthen his bond with Broccoli. Once Broccoli started letting out satisfied sounds, as if telling him to let her rest now that she was all clean and taken care of, did he leave the stables.

Except Harry didn’t get very far, because the moment he left the Mews he spotted two deeply familiar blue eyes staring right back at him.

Louis immediately seemed to straighten his back before marching over towards Harry. He couldn’t help but wonder whether he’d been waiting outside for Harry ever since he’d left. Harry also wasn’t sure whether that made him feel better or worse.

 

‘I don’t want to see you, or talk to you,’ he spit out as soon as Louis came within hearing distance. The other man seemed unperturbed by Harry’s hostile tone, walking over until he was right in front of Harry.

“Your Royal Highness, I just wanted to tell you in person that I deeply apologise for what has transpired these last couple of weeks. You deserve at least that much from me. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, because I don’t deserve that. I just found it important to tell you I don’t regret any of the time we spent together. I didn’t plan it that way, and – ”

Harry let out an unimpressed snort at that. He hated how formal Louis sounded, hated how he’d chosen to address him with his title, rather than his name. Most of all, he hated how Louis had apparently waited two hours for him to come back from his ride, only to tell him he ‘hadn’t planned it that way’ and offer him some stupid apology.

‘I don’t need your apology if you can’t even be honest with me. How can you even say that you didn’t _plan it_ that way?! You literally planned _everything_! We didn’t actually have a meet-cute like I thought we had, you didn’t just fall for me – you knew all along and not once did you think to inform me. Not even when I told you I loved you, not when you agreed we’d meet up in London, not when we kept texting in that last week. Were you even in Jamaica then?! Or were you wrapped up in debriefing everyone at MI6 or wherever it is you work. Damn right you don’t deserve my forgiveness. You willingly stepped all over my heart as if it was some fucking toy to you!’

He was breathing heavily by the end of speech, eyes brimming with unwanted tears out of anger and sadness.

At least Louis had the decency to look chastised by Harry’s words, his jaw tightening as his lips dipped downwards into a hurt expression that he didn’t even try to hide.

He bit his lip, as if trying to compose himself, and Harry just wanted to laugh at the audacity of the man to pretend like he was just as heartbroken over the situation as he was.

“I _had_ no choice. I serve the Crown – not you. I couldn’t tell you anything. What was I supposed to do? Not do my job? Refuse to carry out the Queen’s orders? That’d ruin my career and my life – to get dishonourably discharged from MI6 and the Household Division. But the more I started to spend time with you, the harder it became to go through with it. So I tried to keep my distance and tried to discourage you from saying things you shouldn’t – even though I selfishly still made sure to spend as much time with you as possible. Because you didn’t _know_ the full truth. And you deserve that - to make a fully informed choice as to who gets to hold your heart in their hands.”

Harry just let out a huff. He knew all about putting duty over the heart’s desire, but this felt different to him. It felt far too much like betrayal and not so much like protection or doing the right thing, or whatever it was Louis told himself to justify what he’d done.

‘You – you didn’t just embarrass me, you _humiliated_ me, you _broke my heart_ , Louis. You stole my heart and left me all alone to pick up the pieces because you didn’t actually want my heart – you stole it, because someone told you to. And then you left me, because you were told to! How can I trust one single word you tell me now, after everything that’s already happened? Us meeting wasn’t fated at all, you orchestrated everything from beginning to ending! You _made_ me fall for you! You're talking about choice, but you took that from me!’

‘Harry, you’ve _got_ to believe me. This is exactly why I never replied when you told me you loved me. I didn’t want to say it back given the circumstances, not because I didn’t feel it, but because it wouldn’t be fair – and I wanted it to be real so badly, I needed to know that when I would tell you, you’d know I mean it. That it wouldn’t be a moment compromised by my job and its elements,’ Louis pleaded, and Harry wanted to believe him – he did.

But it was just really, really hard.

So he just stayed silent, gaze locked onto Louis’ pained expression and glistening eyes.

He pursed his lips determinedly, like Harry had seen him do in Jamaica a hundred times  - and then lifted his icy blue orbs in a fierce gaze directed right at Harry himself.

‘I _love_ you. Out of all the things I’ve ever told you, that is the absolute truest statement. And if you let me, I’ll spend my life trying to make you see that I mean it. That while we might have met because it was in my mission statement, nowhere did it force me to fall for you too. _I_ did that. Nowhere did it say that I had to tell you about myself. I chose to share that with you. From the get-go, I never lied to you about any of that. I didn’t lie about my name – like you _did,_ by the way, I didn’t lie about my family and I didn’t lie about liking you. I didn’t lie when we discussed our deepest fears, I didn’t lie when I said I cared for you and would promise to always be there for you. I didn’t lie about that devotion. The only thing I lied about was my job, and not knowing you before.’

As much as Louis’ words tugged at Harry’s heartstrings, he just couldn’t let himself walk right into the trap of forgiving too easily.

He hadn’t even had a full day to get over what had happened, to truly process all his feelings about it. So all he could think of, was to be stubborn and hold onto the rage – because confronting his anger was easier than confronting his pain and hurt feelings at the hand of Louis.

“Your devotion is with the Crown, not with me. You could’ve told them no. Could’ve said that you felt you were morally compromised, you should’ve _told_ me. Now you kept my choice from me. It’s horrible enough to know the firm doesn’t even trust me to make decisions concerning my heart – that my future love is apparently dominated by outsider opinions, and isn’t free for me to choose at all – and you conspired with them! You were never on my side. If you want to be honest with me, fine – but actually _be_ honest. Don’t replace a lie with another. You might all make me out to be too naive or trusting, but give me _some_ credit,” Harry spat out bitterly.

Louis stared at him for a second with a defeated expression on his face, before looking away all of a sudden. That, out of everything, probably hurt Harry the most. He took a step towards Louis, his heart breaking once again.

“The fact that you can’t even look me in the eye right now – it says _everything_. I trusted you. I fell in love with you. And even when I said I loved you, you couldn’t tell me, maybe didn’t _want_ to tell me. How am I ever supposed to forget that? You didn’t choose me. I needed you to choose _me_. If I find a partner, whenever my heart has healed and my head has recovered from this, that’ll be all that I need from them. I need them to be _my_ partner. Not the Crown’s. Not my mother’s. Not my sister’s. Mine.”

Harry tracked the movement of Louis’ Adam’s apple as it bobbed up and down, then flicked his eyes back up. Louis still wouldn’t meet his gaze, in fact – he had his eyes tightly shut.

Louis brought a hand up to his face, making a quick swipe over his cheeks. Only then did he open his eyes, focusing on the way his own fists were clenched by his side.

‘I see. I’m sorry. I just – I don’t know what else I can do but tell you I’m sorry. I will, eh,’ he paused for a second, before looking up at Harry for the first time since he’d spoken.

There was a small, rueful smile on his face as he continued. ‘I’ve asked to be placed overseas. So I won’t be around. You, that is. Again. I’m sorry everything turned out to be this way, and I’m sorry for irreparably damaging your trust and your heart. I never meant for any of that to happen – to hurt you, in any way. I don’t regret falling for you, too, though. Hopefully you’ll find someone who won’t make you regret it one day too. You deserve that.’

And just like that, he was gone, leaving Harry to stare at his retreating back as he crossed the garden and disappeared somewhere inside Buckingham Palace.

Seeing him leave didn’t feel as good as Harry had hoped it would. It didn’t magically unbreak his heart, or make him fall out of love, out of feeling anything for Louis.

Instead, now he just felt hurt _and_ alone.

“Great job, Styles. Great fucking job,” he muttered to himself, then turned to make his way towards a side entrance of the palace. He had no interest at all in following in Louis’ footsteps and risk running into him. 

 

* * *

 

**2 months later**

 

‘Harry! Where are you?! We were supposed to leave ages ag – oh,’ Gemma breathed out as Harry appeared at the top of the stairs.

Maybe he’d gotten a bit distracted by staring at the photos he’d gotten developed from his trip to Jamaica, but surely he wasn’t _that_ late. He quickly glanced at his watch, immediately ate the words that were itching to escape his mouth and replaced it with an apology.

“I’m so sorry, that’s terribly unprofessional, let’s _go_!” Harry rushed past his sister and quickly made his way into the car. As much as Harry liked Michal, he was sort of glad that he still got to do certain things with his sister alone. She slid in next to him, while their trusted bodyguard Andy got in the front seat. Gemma had a stack of papers neatly piled onto her lap, and handed another one to Harry.

‘Here’s our info for today – I assume Liam briefed you, right?’

He nodded, flicking through the information packet. To be frank, despite the fact he appreciated the event and the beneficiaries, Harry wasn’t really feeling up to feigning all the pleasantries.

There was a list of people who’d be present at the lunch, which was being organised by Children Bereavement UK, as well as a couple of topics and ground rules with regards to the conversation they’d have.

He’d try his best for the kids, but apart from that, Harry would just trust on the protocol that was drilled into him from a young age.

Apparently his mood was very much noticeable, because his sister kept sending him concerned glances, then decided to roll up the partition – effectively isolating Harry and herself from their staff.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Gemma settled on, eliciting a noncommittal hum from Harry. Of course he wasn’t alright. He still felt like he was being torn in a million pieces every single day. And yeah, having those photos of his time in Jamaica definitely didn’t help, as it always all made his thoughts circle right back to Louis.

“Have you at least talked to mum?”

Another noncommittal shrug.

Harry was beyond angry, and hurt, and betrayed. He didn’t feel much like talking to his mother. She’d tried, though. Every other day she sent a request up for him to have tea with him, but she also knew better than to force him to sit down with her. They had dinner in silence most nights, up until a month or so ago when his mother had informed him quite clinically that Mr Christopher would be assuming his retirement shortly.

Sure, he realised that it was her olive branch to him, and he’d let out a quiet ‘thank you’ at the announcement. But it didn’t undo any of what had already been done. It didn’t erase the fact that his mother had never consulted him, and had blindly followed the instructions of some old ghastly demon who had not once considered Harry’s actual heart in the matter.

He wasn’t quite ready to forgive.

“You can’t stay mad forever,” Gemma sighed exasperatedly.

‘Watch me try. I'm very good at holding grudges.’

Harry tilted his chin upwards stubbornly, but Gemma just snorted. “You are notoriously bad at holding grudges, you mean. The worst, even. Remember that note you wrote me saying you wouldn't talk to me but still loved me?”

‘That doesn't count! I was, like, ten at most back then! Plus – whatever you did at the time definitely doesn't compare to not trusting your son and then inadvertently breaking his heart. Pre-meditated heartbreak. That's, like, somewhere up there with murder. The cold-shoulder treatment isn’t all that bad compared to the dungeons.’

He could tell Gemma was trying not to laugh after his last comment. Joking about it was better than really talking about it, at least.

“Alright. Good point. Well. I just hope that by next week you’ll be able to sit in the same room together and have fun, because I’ve got my first dress fitting planned.”

Harry gasped as his sister dropped the news on him, and he immediately launched himself into hugging her tightly.

‘Oh my god, Gemma! Yes! Of course!’

“Please promise you’ll at least try and allow mum to talk to you before then, though,” she said seriously as she leaned away from the hug.

Harry rolled his eyes, but nodded anyways. It had been a few weeks. Mr Christopher was leaving the household, and he definitely would need to talk this out with his mother soon either way.

He knew that she hadn’t really been informed of the extent of the ‘operation’, as it had been referred to, and that she’d never meant to hurt Harry’s feelings. She’d been led astray by her advisor, who’d played right into her biggest weakness – her responsibility to protect the crown and her fear of accidentally single-handedly destroying the monarchy.

Harry used to dream about that sometimes.

Some of those dreams were lovely fantasies where he'd get to live a perfectly normal life, others were nightmarish portrayals of what would happen to him and his family if that were to happen. He could understand his mother’s fear, even though he probably wouldn’t mind all that much if the monarchy were to be abolished. Not that anybody asked or cared for Harry’s opinion, of course. He was only a spare prince, after all.

The car came to a stop, and Gemma perked up immediately, her royal smile smoothly stretching out onto her features as she nodded once at Harry before getting out of their vehicle.

He exited after her, and greeted some of the crowd that had gathered in front of the restaurant. Harry tried to smile to the best of his abilities too, but he couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped him as he made his way inside.

Liam grimaced from where he was standing behind Harry. “The next 30 minutes you won’t like – it’s just old people who need to be flattered enough to continue to donate. After that you get to spend time with actual beneficiaries of the charity,” he whispered in his ear before resuming his position.

Harry tried his best to engage with some of the donors, smiling and grinning at the right moments, gripping their hands firmly as they reached out to greet him. Still, his smile only turned truly genuine when he and Gemma were led to a separate room where adults and children were seated around large round tables.

He was just saying goodbye to the people he’d been talking to on his own table, ready to switch to the next, when he saw Liam’s pinched face. He tried to keep his frown in check as he subtly tried to find what had made Liam’s face scrunch up like that.

Harry didn’t have to look for long, as he was being slowly guided to the source of it all.

Because at the next table, none other than Louis Tomlinson was seated.

 

He hated this.

Louis at least seemed to look guilty, an apologetic expression visible even though his eyes were downcast. The most annoying part was that Harry clearly was in no position to object or talk to Louis privately. Instead, he’d have to pretend he was completely okay with everything, while internally he was wondering what he was even doing here.

He’d said he was going to be transferred. So why was he in London? What was he doing at a charity patron event for Children Bereavement UK? Why had he not been in the information booklet that Harry had received? Did they not check everyone in attendance? Wasn’t there anyone who could’ve scrapped him from the list? Was security really that incompetent? 

“Hello, pleasure to meet you all,” Harry said smoothly, taking a seat at the table. He couldn’t help but feel his eyes drift back to Louis, though. Because they were at a charity fundraiser lunch for people having to deal with bereavement, and that led to a whole other group of questions. 

Had Louis lost a child? Had he lost a parent when he was a child himself? Oh god, he thought to himself as his stomach sunk even lower, what if he’d lost a partner and he was the father of the little boy and girl sitting next to him.

He felt absolutely ready to spew, but there was nowhere he could go. Harry needed to see this through – he’d already been zoned out for far too long from the round of introductions that had been going on.

In moments like these, he was lucky that his perfunctory minimal smile was usually enough to placate people and trick them into thinking he was paying attention. Still, he tried to take in what they were willing to share with him about themselves. They deserved his attention, and he needed to give it to them. 

He was just in time to hear the young boy next to Louis speak up. Ernest – that was his name – told Harry that he really missed his mummy, now that she was an angel in the sky, but that he’d been doing fun activities with others who were also missing a parent. It was very endearing, but heartbreaking nonetheless, and Harry kind of wanted to cry.

He felt for the boy, so young and then having to go through that, already having to grow up in a sense. The world was unfair, and honestly Harry’s heartbreak was completely insignificant compared to that.

So he turned his attention to Louis next, and waited patiently for him to introduce himself as he gave him the same bland smile he reserved for annoying patrons and elitists.

“Eh – I’m Louis Tomlinson. Here with my little brother and sister. My mum, she – sorry – she was just amazing. Inspiring. She used to support this charity, actually, so, yeah. Bittersweet full-circle moment, this,” he said, then coughed and fixed his fringe.

And in that moment, all Harry wanted to do was reach over and hold Louis’ hand, which was a startling realization. Despite managing to keep his composure for the rest of the engagement, his heart was stinging – torn between wanting to scream and strangle, or hug and kiss Louis, hold him close and never let him go again.

 

There wasn’t time to talk to him though, these events had a very rigid time schedule that had to be adhered to. Frankly, Harry was lucky they’d built in a small bathroom break at all, giving him the time that he so desperately needed to recompose himself.

However, when he came out of the stall to wash his hands – he realized he wasn’t alone. Fate had apparently thrown him a bone.

‘Please don’t send me away,’ Louis started off pleadingly. Harry’s eyes shifted to the door, where he knew for a fact his bodyguards had been stationed, then sighed.

Of course they’d been charmed by Louis – despite everything. He couldn’t even blame them.

He washed his hands in silence, waiting for Louis to continue with whatever it was that he wanted to say to him.

‘I realise that following you to the bathroom probably doesn’t really help my case, but I just wanted you to know I had no idea this was happening today. I’m sorry for – well, everything. Sorry for hurting you back then, sorry for hurting you now by being here.’

Louis shrugged helplessly, blue eyes focused intently on Harry’s face, waiting for some sort of response.

When Harry didn’t say anything, he could see Louis steel himself as he nodded in defeat. ‘Right. I guess I didn’t really expect you to want to talk to me.’

Somehow, that comment triggered Harry into suddenly feel a new bout of anger surge through him, rather than the sympathy and love that had reigned supreme just moments earlier.

“Well what _did_ you expect by coming here, huh? Do you realize how fucked up that is? That you’re here _again_? That right now, all I can think of is that maybe you even _lied_ about having lost your mother! Got your siblings involved that are way too young to know better, had them play along. Because you weren’t done making a point yet, hurting me yet with your stupid mission. Well, guess what, Louis. Fuck you and fuck your lies.”

The second the words were out, Harry knew exactly just how uncalled for his comments were – how incredibly vile and hurtful they must’ve been.

He hadn't even meant any of it, hadn't realised that he was even capable of being that deliberately mean to someone. 

He could see Louis’ face crumble, could pinpoint the exact moment he closed himself off and let silent tears roll down his cheeks that he furiously brushed away.

‘You don’t – _please_ take that back. Please. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about, even though I realise that ironically, it’s my own fault for not telling you before,’ he whispered.

Still, the words echoed inside the empty bathroom, inside Harry’s head as the severity of his claims just moments prior truly settled in.

He immediately scrambled closer, but Louis took a step back, arms wrapped around himself – and Harry hated himself for it.

He’d deliberately slung the most ugly accusations at Louis’ head – for what reason? He’d lashed out when Louis hadn’t deserved it. Pressed down on a wound that probably only had just started healing, cutting it right open again. Just to make him hurt.

Harry was a horrible human being.

“I’m sorry, Louis – I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, that was uncalled for – I didn’t mean it, I promise!”

Louis let out a wet laugh as he shook his head.

‘I think you did, though. Which, it’s fine, Harry. I guess I deserve that. I broke your heart, it's only fair you'd get to break mine, right?’

Harry frowned at that, and he wanted to reply, but he was interrupted by Andy knocking on the door twice.

“Time to wrap it up, your Highness.”

He sighed, could see Louis fidget in place, as if he was unsure what his next move would be.

He looked like a cornered animal. The opposite of the Louis he’d gotten to know in Jamaica. It smarted.

“It’s _not_ fine. Just because things ended badly before doesn’t give me the right to hurt you like that, to accuse you of something so horrid. I’m sorry about your mother, Louis. No one deserves to go through that. I'm really fucking sorry for saying what I did. That crossed a million lines. ”

Louis nodded, eyes still firmly downcast on the floor. ‘Thank you.’

It wasn’t much more than a whisper, but it was enough for Harry. He made another move towards Louis, hesitated for a moment, then reached out to pull him into a hug. 

They stood there embracing each other for a bit, and Harry could finally feel his heart settle down until Louis broke the silence. 

‘Please make up with your mum, Harry. I don’t think you’d ever forgive yourself if something were to happen and she’d think you were still holding a grudge. She made a mistake out of love for you and her country. Don't punish her forever,’ Louis mumbled into Harry’s shoulder.

A vague itch of annoyance creeped up on him, even though he understood where Louis was coming from. He pulled back slightly so he could look at Louis’ face as he spoke. Harry didn’t miss the way Louis’ hands gripped him a little tighter.

“I’m going to talk to her. She fired Christopher. Kind of. Early retirement.”

Louis’ lips twitched at that, clearly trying to hide his satisfied amusement.

Another knock on the door, this time accompanied by Andy asking if he was ready to move yet.

In that moment, Harry realised that no, he wasn’t ready to move on at all – not until he’d forgiven Louis.

So he took a deep breath, and made sure Louis was looking at him when he continued speaking.

“Before you leave, uh, I just – I wanted to tell you that while I haven’t forgiven you yet, but – I _want_ to. As much as I might not like you at the moment, I’ve come to understand that I really did fall in love with you and that’s not – I don’t get it either, but that’s still there. I don't regret it. And even though it's been 2 months, I don't love you any less. Maybe seeing you here, maybe that was like – fate? To give this, us, an actual chance - if you'd like, still, that is.”

Louis’ cheeks were a bit rosy, as he smiled up at Harry with an insecure yet incredibly soft expression that made him weak at the knees.

For a second there, he’d been afraid of having made a fool out of himself, but now he just felt warm and gooey.

‘The universe. In whatever universe, I’d hope I’d get to meet you, and spend time with you. And I’m pretty sure that no matter what universe, I’d always end up falling hopelessly in love with these springy curls and tiny ears,’ Louis insisted, then hesitantly reached out to tug on said curls, making Harry giggle.

He remembered Louis talking about the two of them in different universes back in Jamaica.

Harry’d believed it then.

He chose to believe it now.

 “Sir, it’s really time to go – I’m terribly sorry,” Andy suddenly piped up – breaking their bubble and making Harry aware he and Louis were literally standing in a public bathroom trying to fix their relationship.

“Is he coming with us, or not?” Dave appeared from behind Andy, glancing over at Louis with some suspicion.

Harry grinned at his security detail, then looked over at Louis and made a decision.

He gripped Louis’ delicate hand in his own as he raised his eyebrows at Louis.

‘Up for an adventure?’

Louis shot him a mischievous smile in response.

“With you? As long as you'll have me, always.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it!!! 
> 
> Now there's an epilogue somewhere stashed away but first I've got another fic to finish. Hope you liked it : ) 
> 
> I've got a tumblr post you can reblog [here](https://goodmorningtoyouuniverse.tumblr.com/post/180862806639/please-dont-say-you-love-me-for-the-first-time)


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